DIVERGENT: Tobias (Watty Award Winner 2013)

Chapter 17

Chapter 17

I walk over to the floor after our conversation, letting her sleep in my bed. As I close my eyes, my head fills with thoughts of Tris. I have to control my feelings better. Putting my hand on her cheek was a risk and I'm not sure if I should've done it. I mean, I loved it. The feeling of her skin against mine. The physical contact as I looked straight into her eyes. It was pure bliss. But I probably scared her or something. I mean, here I am, scary instructor, caressing her face! But, if that was the case... why didn't she flinch away from my touch? Or tell me to stop? Is it possible that she could...have feelings for me? At all?

I can't let myself get carried away like this. I'll only bring my hopes up to let them get crushed. Why would she like me. No one does. Not the real me anyway.

I don't know when my thoughts ended and I drifted to sleep but, suddenly, I find myself waking with a start. But I'm not confused like last time. No. This time I know exactly where I am and I know exactly why.  Tris. My eyes find her in a peaceful, dream-like state and I don't have the heart to rouse her awake.

Instead I walk to the bathroom, quietly so I don't wake her. She needs to sleep after everything that happened last night. Once I reach the bathroom, I close the door softly and let out a sigh of relief. Thanks god I didn't wake her. I strip my clothes quickly and hop into the shower.

The hot water feels good on my skin. It soothes my aches and it clears my head. What a turn of events! Tris is in my apartment, in my bed, while I am taking a shower. I never imagined myself in this situation.

But I don't dwell on that fact for too long. I just need to act natural. I tell myself this over and over again but I don't think it's actually sinking in. That I'm actually believing myself. It's like saying that Tris isn't anything special. But she is. She is everything special.

Before I can argue with myself any further, I realize that I've been in the shower for at least thirty minutes. I get out of the shower and dry myself off. I Pull a shirt over my head and slip on some dark jeans, the usual. The shower may have calmed me, but I can see my hands shaking. Great! Just the thought of being near her again has me all jittery. I need to calm down. I take a couple deep breathes and, with my towel in hand, open the door.

"Hi," Tris says in a tight voice. Her sudden appearance startles me, but only for a second. I catch sight of the bruise on her face and let my fingertips softly glide across her cheek.

"Not bad," I conclude. "How's your head?"

"Fine," She says quickly and then her fingers find their way to the bump on her head, and I see her wince slightly. That's when I know she's lying, but I know that it's not because she doesn't trust me. She just doesn't like feeling weak so I let it go, but I do remember that she's hurt somewhere else too.

And unconsciously, my hand grazes the spot where she was kicked.

"And your side?" I ask with a low voice, trying to keep any excitement out of it. But the physical contact is so inviting.

"Only hurts when I breathe." She states calmly and I can feel my face lifting up into a smile.

"Not much you can do about that," I tell her, the smile still clear on my face.

"Peter would probably throw a party if I stopped breathing." 

And I tell her the only thing that I can think of: "Well, I would only go if there was cake."

It must have been the right thing to say because she laughs and it's the most beautiful sound. But, then again, it must've been the wrong thing to say because her laughter cuts off and she winces, covering my hand with her own.