Our Yesterday's Escape (University Series #6)

03

TW: abuse

SHAN

"Wala ka nang hiya, Alfred! Shame on you! Shame on you! Get off me! Panindigan mo 'yang ginawa mo!" 

I was just watching them fight in front of me while I was reviewing for my test tomorrow. For a 6th grader, I already lost all the hope and love I felt for this family. Kinuha ko ang earphones ko at sinuot sa tainga ko para hindi ko na sila marinig mag-away. 

"Ang kapal-kapal ng mukha mo! May anak ka pa sa labas, huh?! Ilang taon mo 'yang tinago, huh?! Answer me!"

I bit my lower lip and closed my eyes, covering my face with the book. I was getting so frustrated. They were so loud that I still could hear them even with my earphones on in maximum volume. Tinanggal ko na lang iyon dahil wala rin namang kwenta. 

I put the book on the coffee table and looked at both of them. My mom was crying in front of my dad because of too much anger while my dad did not even look so regretful of what he did. I knew. I knew all of it even before. From his countless women to his other family... I would always catch him on act. 

At some point, I got tired of crying. I got tired of the pain he was causing me and my mom that all I felt was hatred. The hatred I felt for him for years grew and grew until I just completely lost the light I tried so hard to see in this household. 

Mom was no different... and it broke me. I was in 4th grade when she went home with another man. She even introduced the man to me... but I knew... because that night, dad and her fought. It was her ex... the ex that she could not get over with.

"And you're even bringing that man in my house!" my dad shouted. I was in my room the whole time but I still could hear their voices. I closed my eyes and just let the tears run down my cheeks. 

"You're acting like you never brought your women here, huh?! You think I don't know?!" my mom yelled back. 

"You cheated on me first, Ciana! You! You made me like this! And who knows?! Maybe Shan isn't even my son! He's your son with that man, you bitch! Napakalandi mo! He was probably one of your accidents!" 

"How dare you say that about our kid?! Are you even hearing yourself?!" 

My sobs weren't as loud as before anymore. I was slowly getting used to them fighting every night. I was also getting used to the pain they were causing, whether they were emotionally or physically. 

"I already told you not to touch my things! I told you!" My dad hit me again with his hand. I was crying but I wasn't making any sounds. 4th grade. He just became more impatient after knowing that my mom brought the man in the house. 

I did not touch his things. I was trying to find my report card, which I gave him so he could sign it. I was holding my card in my hands. It was slowly getting crumpled because of how hurt and mad I was getting. I was... just a kid.