My Green Eyed Drummer

Chapter 127

Lexa follows Luna to the only place she knows she would be. The beach. The breeze was strong leaving the air nice and cool while the waves crash along the shore. It felt peaceful. It was peaceful.

Lexa spots Luna sitting in the sand, playing with it. "What the fuck did you just do?" Lexa says, announcing that she is standing about three feet away from her sister.

"I don't know." Luna replies. Her head is down like a dog tucking in its tail.

"I mean like... this girl loves you with everything in her and you just... left?" Lexa sits next to Luna and looks out towards the moon, "What happened?" Lexa asks softly after a moment of silence.

"I am exhausted." Luna replies. She takes a deep breath before speaking so more, "I am exhausted and it's not fair to her if I can't figure out my feelings. She deserves more. She deserves better."

"So are you tired or are you out of love. There is a difference. Cause believe me I have been tired of everything before. Even my relationship with Clarke......" Lexa thinks for a moment, "but you don't just end it... I talked to Clarke. We started prioritizing other things like our personal health and now we are stronger than ever."

"I'm glad you guys are but what if that's not what it is what if I am actually out of love? What if i'm just not the relationship person-" Luna gets cut off.

"Bullshit. Im calling bullshit." Lexa finally turns to face her sister, "You can't tell me that you aren't hurting right now because you broke up with her."

"I am hurting... but that's the thing I am only hurting because I hurt her..." Luna shakes her head, "I just... it killed me to break up with her-"

"Oh, trust me. I think it killed her more." Lexa says and Luna pierces her lips.

"The point is I don't know if I'm in love or not. I don't need to be in a committed relationship right now and that isn't fair to her." Luna continues to play with the sand.

Lexa looks back at the ocean, "You need some serious time to think." Luna only nods at what Lexa says.

There is an awkward silence. Some type of discomfort that has never been there before. Lexa is mad at Luna. Both of them feel it but no one is going to address it out loud.

Lexa takes a deep breath and focuses on the other part of this story: her sister.

Lexa puts her hand on Luna's shoulder slowly and the awkward silence becomes comfortable while the sisters sit there.

"I love Clarke." Lexa says. Luna finally looks at her sister while Lexa puts her hand back in her lap, "I love her more than anything. She is my person and my life partner and the person who I could never live without."

"What does this have to do with the situation?" Luna ask while Lexa takes a deep breath again.

"Lemme finish..." Luna nods and looks back at the ocean, "I love Clarke more than anything... but I need time away from her. I need time with my friends and I need time to myself to do things I love. I need mental breaks. I get exhausted from being in a relationship, but the point is with a relationship it is a leaning on system."

Luna is fully listening and digesting Lexa's words while she starts talking with her hands, "The point of a relationship isn't to be 50-50 it's to be 100% and 100%. And say I cant be 100% that day say I could only give 95% of myself. You have to be with someone who is willing to put in 105% cause they love you and want to help you."

"It's hate for me to take help," Luna replies, "I don't want to put that type of communication stress on Raven."

"See that is where you are wrong." Lexa scoffs a little, "Cause someone who loves you, like Raven does, wants to be the one you communicate that you need some time to. I mean... the issue here is that you haven't communicated any of your needs to her cause you don't want to bother her, but she loves you and wants it. Trust me."

"How can I trust you... you're not her." Luna replies simply.

Lexa smiles a little, "You're right... you have to ask her." Lexa stands up and brushes off the sand from her pants. Then turns to walk away. Lexa stops before she gets too far, "Just not tonight... or tomorrow..."

Luna nods a little and Lexa leaves her with the ocean.

***

Clarke rubs her temples while sitting on the couch. Lexa walks back into the apartment and Clarke stands up to face her. "I'm glad you're back... Raven is in our room, she finally passed out from crying."

Clarke walks up to Lexa and slowly falls into a hug. Lexa holds her close while Clarke buried her head in her girlfriends chest. The emotion from today leaking out of them to the floor; leaving their bodies with only love.

Clarke looks up at Lexa who is looking down at her. The blonde smiles up at her girlfriend. Lexa opens her mouth to speak but nothing comes out.

"Is everything okay?" Clarke asks while furrowing her eyebrows. Lexa pulls out of the hug for a moment and looks around.

"One second." Lexa says before walking over to her string back that she has for the band, "I lied to you." Lexa says and Clarke gets confused.

"I lied to you when I told you that band was going to be an hour longer that one day." Lexa says while putting her hand in the front pocket of the bag.

"What do you mean?" Clarke is cut off by Lexa's motion. Lexa takes her hand out of the bag while dropping to her knee.

Clarke's jaw drops, "I lied because I was getting this..." Lexa opens the box to show a fair sized diamond sitting on a beautiful silver ring that has a line of 3 much smaller diamonds sitting on each side of the big diamond.

"Lexa..."

"I love you... that's all I know." Lexa starts. Clarke has water in her eyes as she looks down at Lexa, "And we are young... and I know it's crazy but I love you and you're my life partner..."

Lexa's adoring eyes glance up at Clarke, "You are the love of my life... and this might be the worst time in the world but I need to see this ring on your finger... and I need to see you smile when you look at it every day... for the rest of our lives..."

Clarke is crying now looking at the ring. Lexa holds her and smiles.

"Will you marry me?"