suicidal love

chapter 1

"Suicidal girl" "depressed girl" "weirdo" "dead girl" well im that girl (actually thats what they say thats what they think) .
Hey im Carolina a 17years old shy and over sensitive teenage who lives every day like its the last ,
I was raised with a family based on happiness, peace, respect and love.
I didn't know what sadness was, what was hate, I used to see life so colorfull rainbows unicorns and that shit.
when I started growing I realized that my parents weren't happy about their marriage and things started to change , problems started floating in our house, hate fear and darkness covered our life.
Since then mom and dad got divorced and thats where tragedy begins. Mom left me when I was 9 years old when I most needed her. I didn't have any friends neither a best friend to cope my depression with nor a grown up sister to tell her some secrets or to get some advices I was lost in this cruel cold world all alone in this life .
Since then I changed alot. You know how people change when they're dealing with tragedies. Well in my case I started cutting and tried to commit suicide several times but each time I was saved by someone.

Do you know those thoughts that keep hunting you? Telling you that you're not good enough? Or have you ever felt like there's a monster living inside of you? Have you ever looked into the mirror and said who's that person? Have you ever been scared from yourself? Well in my case thats what I felt , thats when people started calling me those nicknames...