suicidal love

chapter 16

The bell rang and I left class with my backpack. I walked around the halls because why not.

As I walked down the rows of lockers, people were staring at me, its nothing new I was always being stared at.

"Freak" I heard a girl say, I looked at her it was one of those peppy girls. I kep walking I had no strength to say anything.

"Where do you think you're going?" She said pulling on my shoulder.

"awe, look girls she's going to cry, look at this pathetic thing" the other girls giggled

"Leave her alone" a voice screamed out of nowhere I couldn't know who it was because I had my face buried in the ground

"Oh look who's here, our lovely darkish boy Destiny", he didn't care about her cruel sarcastic tone and hugged me quickly

"Tracy just leave the girl alone" he said

"And you got yourself a boyfriend already you little bitch" she laughed right in my face.

I turned around and ran away I couldn't fight my tears away so I went straight to the bathroom.
My breath was coming in short gasps, and my lungs hurt from trying to keep oxygen in them I was having another panic attack. Tears were coming out of my eyes, and I was shaking violently, too scared to leave. I tried to take deep breaths to calm down but couldn't get air into my lungs. I buried my face in my hands wishing I was in my room hiding from all these dangerous people.
I started crying harder, moving my face from my hands to my knees , feeling my breath sputter in my chest.
My mouth was dry,my throat was closing up and I felt like someone had just kicked me in the chest.

Suddenly someone pounded on the door, making me jump away and my breaths come faster.
"Carolina, it's Destiny,let me in!" Destiny called, banging on the door.
I shook my head, more tears falling from my eyes and I tried to suck in a breath but no air would come in.

"Carolina, come on let me in , please I know your in there" Destiny called again sounding desperate.

I bit my lip so hard I almost drew blood, and I took several rough short breaths before struggling to reach the doorknob. I managed to turn it a little when Destiny barged in, scanning the room until he found me.

"Oh Carolina" he's voice broke at seeing me in a huddled ball against the dirty bathroom floor.

I let out a whimper im response, feeling my breathing quicken at just having him in the room seeing me like that.

"Okay Cay, I'm going to try to touch your arm now" Destiny said slowly, reaching for my arm.

I shook my head widly, trying to move away from his searching fingers.

"Cay"Destiny said softly, looking me straight in the eyes."Please let me help you"

I don't need help,I tried to say, but only a wheeze came out. I've dealt with these on my own.
But this one was the worst in years. It wasn't stopping, I kept thinking that my breath was back but then I would loose it again, and I couldn't keep oxygen in my lungs for longer than ten seconds.
I finally accepted his request.
"Okay Carolina, im going to touch your arm" Destiny said softly, barely brushing my arm with his fingers. When I didn't flinch he continued.
"Now your other arm" Destiny reached for my other arm, taking gentle hold of it. I didn't move, just trying to focus on calming my breathing. "Okay, Cay,you're doing great, now I'm going to scoot a little closer, okay?" At my nod , he moved about a foot closer, so we were about a foot and a half away from each other. "Cay" Destiny said quietly, "Can I hug you?"

I blinked at this, I was twitching at him even touching my arm and being so close to me, but then again his touch on my arms, had calmed me down slightly, so I said "O-Okay".
Destiny slowly wrapped his arms around my shoulders and pulled me closer so he was hugging me. I sat there like stone before I realized that his embrace was actually comforting and I relaxed. I found myself wrapping my arms around his waist and resting my face on his chest.

After a couple of minutes I let go and felt my face blush bright red.
"T-thank you for c-calming me d-down" I said quietly.

"No problem" Destiny said casually.

"How d-did you know I w-was in here?" I inquired; this question had been burning in my chest since he'd come in.

"Umm I just knew that" he explained.

"But I could have been hiding somewhere else" I said quickly

"The important thing is that I was there for you"
I hugged him and we left to our history class.