suicidal love

chapter 11

"Figures" I thought out loud. The light was so overwhelming I had to squint and blink repetitively for my eyes to adjust. And as things slowly became clearer, I noticed the room I was in was white.
Once I was somewhat coherent, pain shocked into my body. I tried to move but it hurt more.

"If I'm dead, why am I in pain" I complained, hoping that someone(perhaps an angel) would explain. However I heard nothing but that God awful buzzing sound.
Maybe I was in hell? After all suicide was a sin.
I then heard another irritating buzzing sound growing louder next to me. This caused my heart to suddenly drop, then begin to race as I started putting the puzzle pieces together. The white room. The annoying noises I kept hearing. The agonizing pain I was in. My eyes darted around the room and I exhaled. I wasn't in heaven or hell. I was in a hospital. This could only mean one thing, "great" I murmured.

A few minutes went by that with my anxiety felt like forever, but eventually a nurse came into the room with a smile painted on her youthful face.
"your awake!" She stated the obvision

"Pain killers" was all I retorted

She looked at me with a sympathetic smile, which just made me want to hurt her more. It was bad enough that she found my waking up as a positive thing.
The nurse checked something behind me and made some notes in a folder which had my name on it. And once she was pleased with her work she then rushed of.

Moments later she returned to gave me which I assumed was morphine. I honestly didn't care what she gave me just so long as it got rid of pain. The nurse then told me with a dazzling white smile that her name was Anna, and explained some things to me that I couldn't be bothered listening to considering the pain I was in. Anna somehow missed that I was paying attention as her pink lips kept moving and annoying voice kept speaking. I continued day dreaming until one sentence caught my attention
"your mother should be here shortly" Anna informed me as she kept babbling about something else

"Wait did you just say... my mother's coming" I gasped

"yes she should be here shortly" Anna promised, with a smile.

Why this women kept smiling at bad news were beyond me.
I just groaned and shut my eyes at response ignoring Anna's existence, while I tried to go back to sleep praying I would wake from this nightmare.

A familiar voice pulled me from my thoughts and without thinking I opened my eyes,only to regret it instantly when I noticed mom had caught me.

"Carolina Rose" mom used that angry tone rich people often use to appear more elite.

"Mom", I sighed giving into the fact that I have to face her sooner or later

"Young lady, what in God's name were you thinking?Thank god your alive" she yelled

"What happened" I stuttered

"My disobedient daughter stupidly slit her writs and lost lots of blood".

I held back a smile. It amused me that she had misunderstood my question.
I wanted to know why im alive, not how I tried slit my wrist that I was well aware of.
However, the fact that any normal parent would be worried sick , crying or showing some sign of remorse and mine was yelling at me the second I woke up amused me further. And she wants to know why I did it? Im surely not the stupid one.

"You could have died" she stated the obvious ,what she thinks? that my intentions were just to harm myself?

"Anyway Carolina I talked to the doctor and you're getting out of this hospital tomorrow , but your doc said that you need to go to a psychologist and...."

"Whatt!?" I cut her off "mom I'm not crazy im not going anywhere!" I cried

"Yea yea we will talk about this later, I have to go now bye little angel" she said pressing a kiss on my forehead with her dried lips.

************
I woke up later in the night sweating and screaming I know that im used to it but hearing those creepy voices was going too far why won't they just leave me alone ? and soon enough a nurse came into my room asking me if I was okay, I nodded and stayed silent then she fiddled with something behind me. I then started feeling sleepier and figured she drugged me with sleeping pills.