lost between the lips of emotions✨

a story

His love was like sour candy , pretty to look at , got a soft taste , it melts inside of me it was sweet and sour .. his name was my religion I believed in it and the power it had on me , it kept me alive , it was my safe sound .. his voice was a symphony that lives in my head , that I dream of , that turns me on without touching me , I can feel the words coming from his mouth french kissing his lips , passing through his tongue making me jealous of them .. he calls me pretty like it was my name , he calls me hope he calls me insane , he tells me that's I'm a dream and I'm his faith , he spells my name like he's asking for life , like I'm the meaning of my letters , magical jewelry of fate ..
The sun was shining above us I hated her and I loved him , his eyes took the glow from her , they took my heart in their blue ocean , they stole my soul they owned me and only when he smiles I find mee sitting there on his cheek , red kiss close to his neck make him feel , how much he means to me , how he belongs to me , how close I want to keep him inside of me , feel his soul tangled to mine , drink his love like red wine , write a song with a hundreds of lines tattooed in my heart for the whole life .
..
Her love was magical it gave me power it gave me all .. the peace the fear , the love to feel , the courage I need , the words to hear , she made me strong she made me brave she made me believe in feelings and fate , she gave me tears she gave me pain her love like magic full of sacrifice and pain , she was tough addictive like drugs , she rolled the world she didn't care at all , she always tells me that's am all what she needs that's all ..
All and all and all she's a full picture of what I need and more , she was like a breeze of happiness full of enthusiasm a little mad a lot crazy , her eyes cut like a knife , hypnotizes me , make me crave her , make me want her , cold as ice she got both hell and paradise , her voice was sweeter than honey , sleepy and dreamy it took me to places where everything is real and Nothing can hurt me in it , it touches something in me that only came to life when I'm with her , that was born by her with her for her..
The sun was shining above us and she hated her , I loved her .. her hair golden fire made me burn turned me to aches , I got lost between her curls how they moves around her face touching her skin close to her chest feeling her heart beat .. looking like a goddess her pale skin was shining glowing being the moon of the day the moon of the sun .. they say you can't taste love you can only feel it , but when she painted her lips on mine I felt love , I felt it swimming in my blood hugging my soul , killing me bringing me back to life..
..
You beautiful my love as beautiful as a cold snowball in my warm hands , melting in me dripping for me , my love you are the life that lives within me , the air I want to breath , the one I want to keep , you are special my love and no men can be you no one can replace you no one can hurt you , you are mine my love and I'll protect you , from all what can hurt you , I'm here my love always with you living for you ready to save you , fear nothing my love I'm by your side you are not alone , I'll show you how powerful loving can be how glorious we both can be , the whole world will see how miraculous these feelings are so when we both visit our graves , our story stays alive in the hearts of the stars who've watched us , the people who admired us , the songs we wrote together , the books we kept hidden forever , you are mine my love tattooed in me words in my heart and touches in my skin , I love you my love and your love is what makes love worth believing in worth fighting for , worth it all , because you are my love who made me feel , who gave me faith that I can my love , love without pain , love without fear , love without being scared of losing my love..
..
Come to me my angel come live in me come make me breath , I'm fading my love and I need you next to me I need you here with me
Show me my angel how bad you could be what you can make me feel , I'll show you my angel how to spell my name how to scream my name with your lips closed , drown in me my angel let me choke you alive kiss you back to life , move you around and come inside , i want you and I wanna be one with you tied in you feel you begging for me , crying for me and asking for more , put your hand on my heart it's beating for you and only you , it's burning by you , burning by the way you move how your lips curve how you cream for me how you make me drip..
..
My memory loves you it asks me about you all the time ..I want to take you somewhere where we feel safe , somewhere empty no one in this place
I want to keep closer I want to hold you tight
Feel your breath on my shoulder bring me back to life, I want to love you more I want to have it all , the laughter the tears till we grow old , I want to touch your wounds and cure them back for you , I want to make you lose what's not good for you , I want to travel to places with you I wanna see the world , kiss you in every country soft slow and warm , I want to see my smoke scrolling through your lips while you keep me closer ur hands on my hips
And I want to have a forever lasting love so I draw you a picture in every wall in this world and I want to write letters that melts your heart with love , and I will teach how it feels like to admire life from my eyes and I will show how it feels to be with me alive .
..
You felt right when everything went wrong , you felt strong when life weakened me up
You felt special when everyone was the same
You felt peaceful in a world full of wars
Swallow me whole and make me feel more
Hold my hand and take me home
Keep me under your skin
To love your treasures to feel your sins
Roll my times and burn us together
For as long as it takes or just forever
Write me in your books and keep me next to you
Write me a song with letters of your blood
Keep me close , save me by you
Never let me go I'm made just for you..
..
We met nd it felt like something that was good enough to cover my emptiness
We met and it felt epic like a daydream or a beautiful music but then reality hited us and we broke like we weren't made out of platinum
We met and it felt like a war in my heart but you felt safe to the point where I didn't know that I was your victim
We met and it felt like the sun will rise and we have a chance
that sun burned me and I broke to pieces
We met in a magical day but ... Now I wish that I have never met u...
I loved you I did ..
But now the butterflies in my stomach makes me cramp
They moved to my heart and lunges
So I can't breath
So Everytimei think of you
I fall apart
The thorns of roses that grew in my heart
Made him aches
The fire of your love turned me to aches
And Everytime I think of you it makes me cry
..
Dear diary I messed up I loved her but not enough
she was an angel who had no pain she was pretty it drove me insane
Dear diary I'm ashamed of what I lve done of what I've faked
Dear diary I was insecure so I hurted her to feel cured
My diary I made her cry with all my words and all my lies
My diary I can't lose her I was dumb
I want her..
My angel my love my breath my life would you forgive what I've sined can we fix what I've broken
my angel my love my soul my heart can you let me fix your wound can you let me say the truth
I was reckless I can't denny that loving me is poison filled with lies
I'm so selfish I can't denny that I've loved to see you try
Trying to reach me trying to know trying to find me trying to glow , trying to love me , looking for my love , searching for hope to save me from my numb..I ve said I love you that was true , you were special I was amused , you made me strong but love made me weak , I want to be strong without feeling weak , you've fed my ego you made it grow and because you loved me I knew you won't let me go ..
But I was wrong and you now I'm alone missing your best
...
It all comes to one place , it all ends in the same way , in the end of the day , I've nothing left but tears and broken pieces , reminding me that I'm actually weak , I'm actually human ..
Days come and go , people come and leave , but the memories are still here , making me happy sometime , swallowing me to the darkest places some others , reminding me that I feel , reminding me that I care..
Life may be real , life may be just an idea , people talk about it , about how fascinating they find it , but no truth is found except , death is real , misterious , terrifying , relieving , it took away a part of me through the years , to remind me that every moment matter , to remind me that love is real..
Love is overrated , to the ones who got broken , betrayed , love is overwhelming to the one who found peace in it , it's a safe place to run to , feels like home , makes you believe in magic and fairy tales , it was here one time and it reminded me that , self love is the most important kind of love , it taught me that I'm not always in control of what I want , of what I love..
..
I saw you today for a second , it felt real like every piece of my mind wanted to reunite us together
I saw you in a dream where everything felt real
Where your love was real
I saw you today when I felt alone
I found myself in a position where I had to deal with things
By my own
I'm loosing pieces of me while trying to find a replacement for you
An entire hole , empty and cold
Filled with broken glass and stone
My heart used to be there holding into you
Relying on your existence
Now I'm on my own dealing with stuff
And all what I can think about is you
And how you made everything get better
Just by being here
Here with me
..
He only came to me when he needed me
To exchange his sadness with my happiness
To bring me down nd step on me
He's not sorry or what if
He messed up he's a thief
He stole my joy he took my years
He left me old n my young twenties
He only wanted my careness
when all what he was is careless
He didn't love me he loved having me
He loved the idea of me
Of being loved by me
Because when I love I love hard
But when I break I break harder..
Hey.. it's me.. I'm fine what about you..? If you were here you would say that I'm lying..you know it when I do.. but it's okay..to be honest with you and myself..I miss you from time to time..I'm scared like really scared and I miss the warmth of your body that makes me feel safe..you left and technically nothing changed.. some stuff got better too..I still wake up every day late.. I take time to meditate longer.. detoxify my soul..clean my mind from you..my memory loves your face to that point where I see you everyday when I m alone .. that's crazy isn't it?..
..

I tried and this is the worst part of it all
I tried to bring her back..
Cold tears dropped through my cheeks
As cold as a heart I always lived with
I always wanted to be something I'm not
To get over the things I can not
I always wanted to start again
But Everytime I do I never touch the end
Sometimes I feel sad some other I feel scared
But what I know that I'm always bored
And nothing amaze me
What do we expect from someone
As sensitive as glass but broken
Just try to touch it nd you will get hurt
What do we expect from someone
As strong as platinum
Try to break it and you will bebroken
But at least..I tried..
And I will always try again
I'll keep looking for you
In the faces of every woman I knew
I'll keep tasting you
In the lips that distract me from missing you
I'll keep on chasing the stars
As I'm trying to chase my dreams
I'll make my life a rainbow
And be proud when I go to sleep
I'm happy with all what I have
Even if I'm still asking for more
Cause Nothing is never enough without you
And the rainbow I'm reaching is nothing but blue
I need your color in me
I need you to set me free
..
"_I was so damaged so damaged that when someone showed me love I didn't know how to respond"
_"may the moon and the stars be the answer why darkness is sometimes necessary.."
_"you r a honeycomb of lies you're a honeycomb of emotions"
_"I'm a writer my angel playing with words is my heaven"
_"I believed you.."
_"you shouldn't have.."
_"we fell apart before you even fall in love.."
_"I've loved you"
_"not enough.."
_"you left"
_"I left because it was my only way how to save myself"
_"you left because I broke you"
_"you didn't break just me you broke yourself by me , love is a double edged knife my dear , when I bleed .. you bleedd."
_"I want you back.."
_"I own me now." H