☁︎︎❥𝗖𝗼𝗻𝗰𝗿𝗲𝘁𝗲, 𝘁𝗼𝗺𝗺𝘆𝗶𝗻𝗻𝗶𝘁|⌫ - 𝘗𝘦𝘣𝘣𝘭𝘦 𝘉𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘈𝘜

Explaining something really quick until I work it into a chapter

TW! This is a notes chapter but I still need to warn you, I will be discussing suicide and mental health coping mechanisms, as well as drugs and alcohol, as well as smoking to explain withdrawal.

Okay so I felt this was important

As we know Allister tried to off herself while totally disassociated, and she didn't know what was happening. Tommy stopped her. You might think 'well holy shit where did that come from'. So Allister's running low on anxiety medication, as she explained. She would take it biweekly, then weekly, until around half a week before she went to Tubbo's so had to take it once every 2 weeks.

I'm quite sure you've been taught about withdrawal at least once, if you're like 10 or above. Btw if you're 10 you like- shouldn't be reading this it swears so much I was a saintly child until I happened upon Sallyface when I was 12-

I got off topic my apologies so withdrawal. Withdrawal could be characterized by people who are addicted to pain medication may feel depressed and like the world is so painful off their medication. Slowly that medication isn't enough and the person has to take more and more, until they overdose. But the idea is that, say someone who smokes a lot, will cough when they experience withdrawal because they haven't smoked in a while.

Allister couldn't take her medication as frequently, weekly was alright for her. But once that time was extended, her mind started picking up on more anxieties around her, her adhd started to act up more, cause her more attentive problems, and mixed with a lack of adhd medication made her anxiety spike.

Due to how happy she was feeling generally, she blew it off and dismissed it, not even taking withdrawal into consideration. The sensory overload which I showed you, to see how it starts and all and how disruptive and scary it can be ended up being a guide for what happened in the and that is my end shit.

Let me guide you regardless

They get to the forest and take off, this is the distracted part, Allister's imagination soars and everything. She is disassociated and very distracted at this point. She refocuses and is met with something that upsets her, the statues, and her senses spike with all the statues staring at her. She begins to disassociate again after seeing the disturbance in the water, which by the way was caused because there was a statue thrown in the lake that the lily pads and elodea couldn't grow there, there was algae and duckweed there it's just the bigger weeds weren't there so it spiked her attention.

Allister used to imagine her death a lot, so thinking it'd be a nice place to die was usual to her, and she was lost in her own entrancing thoughts of memories and that small house with the cat so she had no idea what was happening, but since the withdrawal and the lack of anxiety medication she unconsciously decided "yo yo yo let's visit god for a while, see what tea he has on" and proceeded to then be stopped by Tommy and her anxiety was like "LMAO LOL THAT ISNT A FRIEND"

So this obviously perturbs our girl, she isn't having a good time, so she wants to have someone she knows she can rely on, this person being the child. This sets off her brain into more of a spiral of what her and her 'friend (?)'s future would be. She copes with this by envisioning her own future, note that this is how she represents her future. Let me show you what the symbols mean.

A lot goes into this, it's a lot to read but I'm sure you can infer most of it

14 year old Allister — naive
15 year old Allister — hurt
16 year old Allister — anger
17 year old Allister — acceptance/new beginnings
18 year old Allister — bliss
19 year old Allister — maturity, a new acceptance where her ends meet
Germany — literally the word Hiraeth mixed with Retrouvaille
The woman who looked like Allister — reminder for her to take her anxiety meds, general reminders and stuff, a physical representation in her mind of her anxiety, it shows her looking like her mother
The small house (before and that is my end) — the state of mind Allister always imagined the close of her life would be
The small house (after and that is my end, with the pond weeds) — another manifestation of her stress
What's in the oven (small house) — whatever she's dwelling on the most, Tommy being in the oven means she couldn't decide her relationship with him, and she was afraid to hurt him
Large house — her ideal interpretation of her future
Landon drinking — literally only important for Oh Yeah, You Gonna Cry? which I need to create

Okay that's it for what is important now I will update this list if something else comes into play lol haha fun
The hardest to describe is the woman and what's in the oven but I think they're also obvious to infer so that's good hahahahahahahahaahahahhahahahahahaha

So like

I think that's all

It's okay cause we have dadbur and fake signatures for us 😫🤌

Y'all like security breach? Dw I have good things planned for when she gets home because I need to have a time gap for Florence and Landon drama

ANYWAY MY OTHER STORIES ARE GETTING REMOVED CAUSE I NEED TO FINISH THIS AND WORK ON OYYGC CAUSE IT SHOULD HAVE STARTED BY NOW LMAO HAHAHAHAH

Merry Christmas y'all from your favorite red headed lesbian

The key will be worked in.............
Into the epilogue which totally will not be called Retrouvaille where 18 year old Allister matter and 19 year old Allister matter

I probably misspelled so much oh my god
Welp see you all have a nice New Years 😁👆