A new fault amist our stars

Untitled Part 17

It’s been a while and I know that. Im sorry about it. Lately a lot has been happening and it was just some frustrating things that were going on. I tried writing this chapter a couple of times but every time I did, it all came out so angry. I was so angry. I didn't want you guys to read that so I took some time off. I hope nobody is too angry and if you are, then Im sorry, I don't blame you.

Today is the day that I receive all the answers i've been searching for since I was 14 and had the sense to pick up that book. That book that would unknowingly later land me in amsterdam with a very good looking boy. I could say it was sheer luck but I think it was purely accidental.

We were meant to leave at 10 and get to his house by 11. It was naturally 3 am. Whoops. I meant to sleep I really did but when you're about to meet your favorite author, it gives you this internal caffination that could keep someone up for days.

I really am contemplating going to August’s room and just sitting with him. Purely non sexual. I decide to text him and ask his opinion. The text was a simple ‘hey want to hang out…. I can’t sleep’, you know just the normally texts you send to people whilst you wait for the arrival of a new dawn.

He answered a couple minutes with ‘Yeah sure come to the second floor, room 203’. All I have to do is sneak past my mom, which is a piece of cake. I slipped on my complimentary hotel slippers and tip toed out of the room and into the hallway. I was closing the door when I swear to god heard my mom say “Be careful” then I closed the door.

I mean I was going to get my ass kicked anyways might as well still go. I got into the elevator and went to the second floor and walked to room 203. Right as I was going to knock on the door it opened.

“Augustus Waters were you watching me through the peephole” I say and he just smirkes. “Hazel Grace you requested my presence” he says and opens the door wider, letting me in. He shut the door as I flopped face down on his bed. “I feel like throwing up” I say as he flops down beside me.

“Join the club” he says and I laugh. “We can make our own vomit club” I say and he laughs. “With 3D chunks on our complimentary T-shirts” He says and I laugh. “Really though I mean I’ve had all these questions stuck in my head since I was 14 and now they are going to be answered and I don't know if I am ready for that”I say and he smiles.”

I know for a fact that you, Hazel Grace, are ready for this” he says and that makes me smile. Maybe I am ready for this, maybe I won’t vomit hazardous chunks onto Peter Vanhouten.

Then there is that tiny part of my brain that wears a tin foil cap saying that it’s going to happen and right now foil hatis sounding pretty right. I would share this observation with Augustus but I dont want to scare the poor boy away.

“Want to watch a movie or something because I know that I won’t be sleeping any time soon” I say to Augustus and he agrees. So he starts to go through the tv while I grab all of the  extra pillows from the closet and make the bed into a miniature fortress for two.

We end up watching some romantic movie but it just so happens to be dutch, in fact all of the movies were. So we decided to entertain ourselves and make our own commentary while the movie plays on mute.

It served as quite an interesting passivity. After several nudity scenes we decided maybe our commentary could be more useful somewhere else, so we tried looking all night for a movie that didn't make us feel exceptionally awkward.

With no luck, because apparently dutch movies have no boundaries, we gave up and just watched some tv show that lacked model competitions. I have to say I was disappointed but I was just happy to have something to do.

Light started to show through the window and I decided that I should probably go back to my room to get ready. Augustus bid me goodbye with a quote on quote “Friendly” kiss on the cheek and then shut the door.

I walked back down to my room and hopped into the shower, feeling more nervous than before. I got out and tried to decide on what to wear. The dress that was supposed to be wore to oranjee, pre mother surprise, was my first choice but then I decided to take a different approach.

I put on a pair of dark jeans, chuck taylors  and a light blue T-Shirt. Just like Anna. Then I read. I kept on reading and trying to make a mental list of all the questions I should ask. Thats when Augustus knocked. It was precisely 9:36. Perfectly late.

We left the hotel room and I took Augustus’s hand, in a purely friendship based hold, because I couldn't stop shaking. We took the train to the Address that was emailed to me. There was a part of me that wanted to see Grace and Charlie again but the rational part of me knew I wouldnt.

Besides, it makes meeting people that much more extraordinary when you know that you’ll never see them again. We just made small talk on the train, to nervous to even talk about the fact that all of our questions were about to be answered.

We got off at our stop, it was only a block away from his house. Peter Vanhoutens house. One of the worlds most famous recluses, and one of the best authors I know of. We continue our hesitant steps to his house.

We are almost there when Augustus stops in his tracks. “Hazel Grace” he says and looks at me. “Yes?” I say and he just smiles. “I just wanted to make sure you were really there, and that we were really here” he says and then keeps walking.

“Yeah” I say “This is real”. We make it to the front of his house. The only thing blocking us from him is a flight of stairs and a wooden door. The only thing stopping us is ourselves. “Well” I say, “I guess we knock” and so we do. We walk up the stairs and each of us grab hold of the door knocker and together we knock on the door of the man that holds the answers.

There is no response at first so Augustus knocks again and this time we hear shuffling coming from the other side. A man with an exceptionally round stomach opens the door and squints at us both. Then without even the slightest hint of a joke he says “Who the hell are you two”.