A new fault amist our stars

Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I own none of John Green's amazing ideas and or characters

I left soon after because it was getting late. The car ride was a long one because all I could think about was Augustus waters. His crooked smile, his muscular arms, It's a silly though but I kept thinking and picturing me and him in our mid thirties with two kids smoking unlit cigarettes. I know it won't happen but sometimes it's nice to indulge in the thoughts that wont matter.

I get home and scolded for being out fifteen minutes after curfew. I got so agitated that I told my mom not to worry I didn't drink because I thought I might be pregnant. That's a lie of course being first of all I don't go to parties and two I'm a virgin. My mom knew it was a sarcastic joke but she still was pist. I was shocked I didn't get a mouth full of soap. I mean she's never done that before but still, anything is possible with my parents. After the scolding I went to my room and got onto my laptop. It was still on Augustus's page.

Once I saw his profile picture I got this warm feeling inside like a giant gaping hole has just be partially filled. It may be silly to think that he could one day love me but crazy things happen in a crazy world. I look at a couple more pictures and finally shut it down and went to bed. Still having fresh memories of trophy shrapnel.

I woke up the next morning feeling pretty good. I went to school. I was a junior. Augustus and Isaac went to the other high school because mine was too small to fit as many high schoolers as our town had so they built a new one and shipped half over. I texted him in the middle of forensic science when the teacher was thirty minutes into a sixty minute lecture.

Me: Class is sucky today how's Isaac?

Augustus: Still feeling like shit

Me: You need to take him out some where

Augustus: Like where a strip club?

That made me laugh pretty hard even in the middle of class. Everyone noticed except or our apparently deaf teacher. I put my phone away and listened but not really to the lecture.

Once I got home went into my room and called Augustus. We really only talked about AIA, but it was still nice to talk to him. It made me feel really sucky to because he's just so perfect I mean why does he have to like me. It makes me feel like I have to live up to these unseen standards. We talked until I get called for dinner.

There's this big window in front of my dinner table and it shows my back yard and all I can do is stare out at it. All I can stare at is this really depressing swing set that my dad built for me when I was little. It just sits there and its really making me feel sad because the wind Is pushing the swings up just slightly and it hurts to think that one day that swing set isn't going to be there. That someone else is going to be living in this house. That one day everything will be gone and body is going to remember anybody. Where one day I'm going to be forgotten and its really makes me sad.

I eat and excuse myself from the table. I go to bed early that night. I dream of the swing set. It was where I was a little girl swinging and then my now self came and sat on the other swing and we just stare at each other, one thinking of where to play next and the other of how nobody will remember anybody. It just goes on and on and finally I wake up at three not being able to sleep any longer.

I know that sleep is inevitable so I get ready for school. It five once I have gotten all ready so I just sit and wait for my mom to make breakfast. She makes it at round five forty five and I eat most of it before I go and wait for the bus. I go through all of my classes thinking of that stupid swing set and that damn dream not being able to forget any of it. Once I finally end my classes and go home I look at the swing set from the window. That's when I grab my phone and go outside. I sit on the one of two swings and call Augustus.

"Hazel grace" he says after the third ring. "Hey" I say tearing up. I can't put my finger on the problem but right now I'm just feeling really sucky and Augustus is the only person who doesn't make me feel sucky. "Hazel Grace you sound partially sad" he says. "Well I kinda am I'm just feeling really sucky and this swing set that I'm sitting on is making me feel really sad, and it's just a really bad day and the sky is not making things any better" I say."Well Hazel Grace I must see this sad swing set I'll be over in twenty" he says then hangs up.

I'm still sitting on the swing set as I watch him climb over our fence. "Hazel Grace your front door seems to be locked" he says and he takes a seat right next to me on the opposing swing. "Yeah sorry" I say staring at the ground. "Hazel I know this swing set is super depressing but what's wrong you seem sulky" he says. "I've just been thinking about oblivion" I say. That's when he puts his arm around me and we start to gently swing. "Tell me about it" he says. "What?" I ask. "Tell me what you think of oblivion" he says now staring me in the eyes. "It's just we are all going to be forgotten and we are all going to die and we don't know when it's going to happen and...." I say trailing off because I don't want to finish the horrid thought. "And..." he proceeds. "We are all metaphorically sick with life and there is no cure and it just sucks" I finally say.

"God I love you" he says after a while. "Augustus do-" I say then he cuts me off. "No I love you hazel grace and I'm not going to deny myself the pleasure of saying true things to beautiful people" he says. "Augustus" I say leaning into his shoulder. "It's going to be okay Hazel Grace" he whispers into my ear. We sit there for hours. I see my mom through the window making dinner so Augustus and I go inside and eat some casserole. Once we finish we go back outside and sit on a blanket that I grabbed on our way out. We watch the sun set and the stars emerge from the night sky. Once the stars start to really shine I start to doze off in Augustus's arms and before I finally fall asleep he whispers something in my ear. "It's a good life Hazel Grace" and then everything goes black.