A new fault amist our stars

Untitled Part 11

Tomorrow we board a plane to Amsterdam. We'll be staying for five days. In those five days I'll be meeting my idol. I mean I'll also be in the city famous for promiscuity with a very attractive boy but that's beside the whole point of this trip. It's more of an added bonus.

My mom and I just got done packing our suite cases. She's the one coming on the trip since she's the only one of our parents without a job. Now she's in the living room reading an Imperial Affliction and I stare at her reactions intently.

"Hazel my eyes may be on this book but they are only focusing on you focusing on me" she says and I shake my head, almost like I had come out of a trance which pretty much sums of the feeling. "Sorry but I'm waiting for your reactions but you've kept a damn good poker face"

I tell her forgetting to keep a filter. My mom hates when I use "Inappropriate language" because she feels like it makes me more grown up and god forbid her daughter ever grow up. "Hazel I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that word and it's because this book just doesn't pull me in"

she says and I have to restrain my jaw to not hit the floor. She noticed me and how I've become very still. She takes a big breath like she's preparing herself for battle and finally says "There is this one part though…" I practically lunge to the spot next to her on the couch as I take the book from her hands. She's at the part where I left off last time. The bullet proof glass. "That's one of my favorite parts" I say as I keep glancing down from the book and back to my mother.

She looks at me and smiles this really big smile. Just like Augustus's big goofy grins but she would never be able to imitate that from him. It's his and only his nobody else seems to have the ability that he does when it comes to smiling. I completely forget I'm sitting next to my mother so I look up at her realizing she's been talking this whole time. "and then maybe we can go out for lunch" she continues completely oblivious that I'm oblivious.

"Mom I am truly sorry but you're going to have to repeat everything you just said. She sighs but she's still smiling. I like seeing her this way because I know it means she's happy and her happiness fuels half of my happiness. Augustus takes up almost half of the other space but he can't take it all because I'm not going to lie, ANTM brings me a lot of happiness so I need a little space for that too.

"Hazel?" I see a hand waving in my face and I realize I zoned off AGAIN. I really need to stop doing that. "I was saying that maybe we can go shopping for some Amsterdamian clothes and dresses" she said as she nudged my shoulder. I so was not in the mood for shopping but I was not going to be the one ruing her happiness. Not today at least.

"I would love that mom" I say and her smile gets even bigger. I didn't even think that was possible. "Okay I'm going to get ready and you should to and by that I mean go take a shower dear god hazel you smell" she says as she gets up from the couch. I'm going to pretend that she didn't say that because I believe I smell like roses and teenager.

Okay so maybe that combination does smell a bit. I finally get off the couch and hop into the shower while listing to the hectic glow rather loudly. I'm pretty sure I heard a knock on the door signaling me to get out now but I just kept going. I mean she'll understand you can't just leave the shower mid song.

It's like you're breaking an unsaid rule about needing to finish a song before you can leave. So after the songs over I finally get out and examine my pruney fingers. Maybe I was in there for a long time. I throw on a pair of jeans and a sweat shirt Augustus left here. Augustus. Maybe we should invite him to come with us because I mean he was the reason this trip is happening. Then again ill be with him or the next five days so maybe this me and mommy time should just be me and my mom. "IM READY" I yell as I grab my vans and get into the car.

My hair is still wet but since it's short it doesn't really show. My mom walks out the door and into the car. She looks like how she always does. Jeans and a normal pin shirt with necklaces. It suits her. "Since you are part of the reason that we are going to Amsterdam you get to choose the music" my mom says and sighs.

She hates my music because it's too loud. I just respond by putting in mixed CD Augustus gave to me and smiling. She finally starts the car as we pull out of our driveway. We make our way to the mall in silence as I make little dance moves to the music. Judge. Me. We get to the mall and park by the food court.

As we walk in I'm greeted by the wafting stench of grease, sweat and desperation for money. God I love the mall. We make our way towards a small shop with really cute dresses. I never even saw the name. Right away a dress caught my eye. It was a blue striped dress with short sleeves and goes down just above my knee.

At least I will be preserving the "Lancaster Modesty". That'll make my mom happy. So I grab the dress and hold it up to my mom getting her opinion. "Hazel its beautiful" she says genuinely. I smile as I walk to a dressing room and wait my turn. Once it comes I walk in and I try on the dress. It looks amazing and feels comfortable.

What's not to love? So I take off the dress and walk back to my mom. She's frowning as she looks at the other dresses. "Mom?" I ask. She looks at me and gives me a small sad smile. "Hazel look at the price tag" is all she says. I don't even want to look because know it's just going to make me feel sadder.

My mom slowly takes the dress from my hands and leads me out of the store "Mom its fine I'm okay" I say as I try and keep a smile. "You sure" she asks. "Yes mom I'm sure" I say and laugh. This laugh was more from stress than happiness though. "I think I'm going to just go to the book store" I say as my mom nods.

"Alright I'm going to run some errands and then ill come get you okay?" she asks and I nod. I say goodbye and walk towards the book store ready to drown my sorrows in a good book.