Between us ~ Martin Garrix

Chapter twenty six

(Lily's POV)

The walk back from the doctors, I felt numb. Not just with pain, with fear, with guilt, with every emotion under the sun. It was the most pleasant day I'd known in a while, the sky now a clear shade of winterish baby blue, mist already beginning to hang over the greenery of the dusky streets. I felt my phone vibrate, but I chose to ignore it. I couldn't face him right now. Single handedly, I'd ruined his life. I wanted to cry, I wanted to scream, I wanted to curl up alone and pretend this wasn't happening. But I knew I had to face the actions of my own consequences. The tears simply wouldn't fall, smiling falsely at all passers by. I took a deep breath, stopping in my tracks as I passed the pub. Part of me wanted to go in, but part of me simply couldn't face socialising. But with a twinge in my chest, I took the steps towards the door, twisting the gold handle as it froze against my palms.
"Lily! How are you feeling? Shouldn't you be home resting?" Lester welcomed cheerfully as I walked in.
"Oh, yeah I'm heading home from the doctors now. Just the bruises causing it, nothing to worry about," I took a deep breath, biting my tongue with lies. I wasnt convinced Lester believed me as he raised his eyebrows.
"Actually, is Josie here?" I continued.
"Sure, she's just out the back. Go ahead," he beckoned me through, his eyes fixated on my guilt ridden face.
"Hey lily! How are you?" The woman smiled, lifting her head from the washing machine she was filling out the back room full of tea towels.
"I, urm," I started, stuttering slightly as I struggled to hold it together. And then the inevitable arose. I sniffed, throwing my hands infront of my face as the wimpers quietly exited my mouth.
"I think we better go and sit down," Josie opened her arms, embracing me as she walked me towards the staff room.

"How far gone are you?" She asked, sipping her tea as her empathetic face latched on me.
"4 weeks," I sniffed, my fingers intertwining with eachother. I was too ashamed to make any sort of eye contact.
"You know it's going to be ok? It's not as scary as media makes out, it's actually a really wholesome and pleasant experience. I mean, you're growing a little Martin or little Lily!" Josie laughed quietly, peering round the door to ensure no one was nearby.
"That's the problem, there's no way I can tell him. Hé'll despise me! I've ruined his life, he's so young with a whole career ahead of him, he's not exactly just going to sit back and stay with me. And I wouldn't want him to. I have to do him a favour and leave, I've been looking at flights back to England to stay with my mum," I cried quietly, the whole situation overwhelming my already aching head.
"Lily, no. You're not thinking straight. You're in pain, you're understandably panicking, and you need to tell him. Whether you stay together or not, you cannot carry his baby and not let him in. Plus, he adores you. He wouldn't leave you in a million years, I actually think he'll be thrilled!" Josie spoke some sense, combing her brunette Bob behind her ears, her slim fingers soon wrapping back around the mug of her steaming drink.
"It's not that easy," I shook my head, a tear falling as I gazed at the floor.
"Martin is a world renowned musician, he is the most hard working person I've ever met and he deserves this position he is at more than anything. I simply can't let myself take that away from him. I love him with my whole heart, but it would be selfish of me to not leave."