The Mess We Made

The Boiling Point

Veronica wished that there could be a storm watcher for her and Reina. She wished there were signs telling her to bunker down, bar the walls, prepare for the storm coming.

But Veronica never knew when the storm hit until she was in the center of it.

It started casually, unsuspecting. Reina and Veronica were on the way back from classes pretending that everything was normal like they've been doing, talking about their day, when Reina mentioned Baltimore. After their last fight Baltimore was a trigger word for Veronica now, and she couldn't help the words that she blurted.

"I'm so fucking tired of hearing you talk about Baltimore. How about you never say his name in front of me again?"

Reina stopped in front of their door, cheeks flushed, jaw dropped. She was clearly caught off guard, and so was Veronica honestly.

"What the fuck?"

Veronica ran her hand over her face and groaned, "Pretend I didn't say anything. I don't want to talk about it."

Veronica pushed Reina aside so she could unlock the door. As soon as they entered their apartment Reina didn't waste any time starting a fight.

"We are talking, now."

Veronica didn't want to talk. They were both at their boiling point, she could feel in her gut that this conversation would explode into something they could never take back.

"I don't think it's fair for you to tell me I can't talk about my boyfriend. I don't tell you that you can't talk about Ashley, although you never do. I don't know why you treat her like she's some precious secret. We're best friends, we should be able to tell each other everything."

Veronica was irritated, best friends should tell each other everything? She wanted to laugh. Veronica had enough and something possessed her to drop a bomb.

"Actually I'm moving in with Ashley," she declared. She would have to actually text Ashley after that she spontaneously decided to take her up on her offer.

Reina froze. Veronica moved passed her to head into their room. Reina charged after her then slammed their door shut and stood guard in front with her arms crossed.

"What the fuck do you mean you're moving in with Ashley?"

"It means I'm moving out and going to live with Ashley."

"Why?" Reina cried, "You don't have to leave just because you're in a relationship, I'm with Baltimore and I'm still-"

"Don't compare me to your relationship with Baltimore," Veronica spat, "What did I just say earlier? I don't want to be anything like you. I'm tired of this casual sex shit. It's not fun and games for me anymore."

"So what? You're going to treat me like the rest of the girls you throw away? You're over sleeping with me so you don't even want to see me anymore?"

It angered Veronica that Reina was minimizing the problem, reducing it to nothing but sex.

"I don't want to see you anymore because it hurts. Because I can't keep doing this. There's no real reason to see you anymore, don't you get that? We're only still friends because of history. When was the last time we hung out like normal friends do? Without all the screaming and baggage bullshit."

"So you don't actually care about me?"

"Reina I love you," Veronica's voice cracked, "I'm in love with you, but I don't like you very much anymore."

Reina froze. Tears started to pool in the corners of her eyes. "It's-it's not my fault I can't feel the same way about you like that, you shouldn't punish me-"

"For fuck's sake, Reina can you stop thinking about yourself for one minute? Why are you so fucked in the head? I tell you that I'm in love with you and your reaction is to think this is about me punishing you? Do you have any idea how this is tearing me up inside? Do you even care?"

"I care-"

"I don't think you do!" Veronica's voice rose and she got in Reina's face. "I'm telling you if we both sat down to think about it, why do we even like each other nowadays? Our relationship continues out of habit. You only care that you might lose something you've gotten too dependent on, like a goddamn drug addiction."

"Is that what Ashley told you?"

"Ashley has nothing to do with this."

"Like hell she doesn't, ever since she came into the picture things changed."

"No, things changed when we stopped being friends and started just being fuck buddies. Things changed when I realized I was in love with someone who would use my body but never love me back. Ashley just helped me see things clearly."

In an uncharacteristically small, broken voice Reina just answered, "You can't go. You're my home."

"No, I'm a person."

Veronica could see the panic in Reina's eyes. Reina didn't have a response. She just fluttered her eyes close, tilted her face up, bringing her lips closer to Veronica. Veronica shoved her away. Reina's back banged against the door. Suddenly Veronica was sick. Reina knew now exactly how Veronica felt, and she still tried to manipulate her with her touch. She wasn't going to let that happen anymore. Last time was going to be the last time.

"Get out," Veronica's voice was hard, absent of any love she claimed to feel for Reina. It was a short road between love and hate.

Tears silently slid down Reina's face. It wasn't until Veronica noticed Reina crying that she noticed the taste of salt on her own lips. Two hardened girls who didn't give into the weakness of tears, crying in front of each other.

No one said anything else. No one moved a muscle. It was like the world pressed pause while the two of them internalized everything that just happened. They just stood there, heavy breathing. Veronica's bleeding heart and Reina's bloodstained hands. Veronica should've known Reina would never have been able to carry the weight of her heavy heart.

Finally Reina nodded, following Veronica's command that she gave minutes ago. Reina turned to fling their door wide open and stalked out of the room. She heard the lock outside turn, and was surprised Reina didn't slam any doors.

Numb, Veronica shot Ashley a quick text.

So can I actually move in? Like in 30 min? She didn't offer up a backstory, Ashley wouldn't need one right now. Her phone pinged immediately.

Yes.

Veronica let out a breath. Numbly, she turned to her side of the room to pack up her things to bring to Ashley's. She only needed her bare essentials, her backpack, clothes, toiletries, her drug stash. Veronica pointedly ignored the pictures of her and Reina hanging around. There had never been pictures of anyone or anything else, just the two of them together, sometimes just solo shots of Reina. It really showed how much she made Reina her whole world.

Veronica didn't know if she'd see Reina again.