The Mess We Made

Les Bean

Les Bean was the only lesbian bar in the area, and subsequently Veronica's favorite place to go. It was a casual dive bar, low lights, leather barstools, and cheap drinks. There was patio with a firepit outside where you could order a platter of marshmallows and roast them.

Veronica stood at the bar, dressed to stand out. She wore a black, cropped, racerback tank and baggy high-waisted jeans with the buttons undone so it sunk low on her hips. She stirred the straw in her second Moscow Mule of the night as she eyed the crowd. Veronica wanted one thing, and that was to go home with someone new tonight. Too many things had stressed her out in the past weeks and she desperately needed a release. A stress free release, meaning hooking up with someone she had absolutely no history with.

Picking up girls was either an incredibly easy or incredibly complicated thing. Depending on the crowd that night, sometimes it was only groups of girls all dating each other, straight girls who got offended when hit on, or sapphics who weren't interested in one night stands. Sometimes Veronica could find a girl who had the same one track mind as her, and sometimes bicurious girls came up to her, sometimes egged on by their friend, sometimes just buzzed enough to boldly proposition her. Veronica usually never hooked up with drunk girls, would never take advantage of someone like that, especially if they weren't secure in their sexuality, but sometimes she was just as drunk and didn't realize what happened until she woke up in a bedroom she didn't recognize.

She couldn't remember if the bad habit started with Reina or not.

No one had caught her eye so far, and it was already one a.m. Veronica would take anyone at this point, anyone who could distract her from her contradicting, entangled feelings inside about Reina.

The back patio door opened and a lone girl came out, heading for the exit. Something about her grabbed Veronica's attention. The woman wore a denim dress with bleach stains splattered across it. She had a voluminous, reddish brown afro that bounced as she walked, with golden earrings catching the light. When she passed by Veronica could see the earrings were an abstract outline of a woman's body. Veronica's gaydar went off.

Veronica moved from her spot at the bar to fall in step with the woman. She smelled like campfire smoke. They were the same height, which was uncommon but Veronica appreciated it. She got her height from her dad, which put her at 5'9 towering over her Filipino half of the family that were 5'3 at best. Reina herself was 5'2, and most girls Veronica had been with averaged around 5'5. Veronica wasn't into height differences like that, the way some were. She didn't like looking like a giant standing next to petite girls. She didn't like bending down to kiss a girl.

"Are you heading out for the night?" Veronica asked casually, tilting her head away from the woman while looking her in the eye.

The woman blinked, caught off guard. Her eyes were clear, surprisingly she seemed completely sober. It was an uneven playing field then, she might not be amused by Veronica's inebriated flirtations.

Still, her lips curled into a small smile. "Yeah, it's getting late so I was going to call an Uber and head back home."

"Oh, do you live close by? Can we split a ride?"

"I don't know if I wanna share a ride with a stranger, you could be a serial killer."

Veronica scoffed, "So could your Uber driver. And you're telling me you've never taken a shared ride before?"

The smile widened. So the woman was amused. She gave a playful sigh, "You're right. I live on 51st street, at the Lux."

Veronica knew where that was. She was pretty sure she had hooked up with another girl at that place too. It was only a five minute walk from her own apartment.

"Perfect, I'm close by. The name's Veronica by the way, so now we're not strangers."

The grin turned into a laugh, "I'm Ashley."

Ashley was good conversation. She responded to Veronica's touch, leaned in so there arms brushed when Veronica leaned in, maintained eye contact as long as Veronica did. She returned every quip Veronica threw at her with the same energy and witty banter.

Veronica didn't know if it was the haze of alcohol or talking with Ashley that made the drive back fly by. She barely remembered even getting in the Uber, only realizing the ride was finished when Ashley turned away from her to open the car door. After a dumbstruck moment Veronica gathered herself and followed Ashley out.

Now was moment to close the deal. "Are you gonna invite me up?" Veronica asked coyly.

Ashley pursed her lips but eyes were sparkling, "No."

Veronica laughed, thinking they were continuing their teasing. When Ashley didn't move or say anything else Veronica's mouth fell open. She caught herself, silently chastising herself for not being more suave.

"Do you have a girlfriend or something? A roommate?"

"What makes you think I want to sleep with you?"

Veronica's jaw dropped again. She didn't consider herself a seductress or anything, but the rejection surprised her. She was sure Ashley felt the chemistry between them.

Ashley kept talking, "Maybe I just wanted to be your friend."

Veronica looked at Ashley in disbelief, "Just a friend?"

Ashley smiled at her and Veronica didn't think that was a smile for just a friend. She held her hand out at Veronica but Veronica just stared at the open palm in confusion. She was too drunk for this.

Ashley seemed to understand that, "Can I have your phone? Lemme give you my number."

Oh. Veronica grabbed her phone from her pocket and opened up a new contact. Ashley put her number in and saved her contact name as Ashley with the little martini emoji.

"Text me sometime? When you're sober." Ashley winked as she turned to head into her apartment, leaving Veronica out there alone in the dark. Only a single street lamp lighting the scene. Veronica waited another beat, playing back the whole night, before laughing out loud and turning to head home.

She texted Reina asking if she was at their place. Reina responded with a curt "No. W Baltimore" and Veronica simply swiped the chat away.

She was going home to her apartment, alone. She had failed her mission, gotten rejected. Somehow she didn't mind.