The Mess We Made

The End of the Story

It had been two weeks since Veronica moved out. For the first week Reina held onto petty anger and didn't reach out to Veronica at all. By the second week she found out Veronica unfollowed her on socials and her number had been blocked. Looked like when she said she didn't want to see Reina anymore that also meant she didn't want Reina to reach out to her. It felt like the final nail in the coffin.

In the quiet of her room that was now only hers, Reina ripped off the band-aid. "I'm breaking up with you."

Baltimore had never been very emotional, nothing like the volatile mess of feelings like Reina was, so when his jaw dropped that was a big, rare show of emotion. Reina knew how caught off guard he must have felt. This was nothing like the slow crumble she went through with Veronica, it was like having the rug pulled out from under you. Nothing had changed in their relationship since it had started over a year ago. In Baltimore's eyes, there was no reason to break up.

"Like, for good?"

"Yes," she snapped, just wanting the conversation over with. "I don't want to see you ever again." Reina hoped she was cruel enough to drive him away easily.

Reina knew her problems with Veronica were just between her and Veronica, but a part of her blamed Baltimore too. Blamed him for being the catalyst to their toxic affair, blamed him in the same way she blamed Ashley for making Veronica realize she was hurting. It wasn't actually either of their faults, but there was only so much blame Reina was willing to shoulder herself right now.

If she was going to lose Veronica, she wanted to leave Baltimore behind as well. This was more than the loss of a best friend, and Baltimore would never understand the complicated, secret relationship that had ended. He would only ever be confused as to why things fell apart, and why Reina felt like she was missing a limb.

Looking at him, being with him, it would only make Reina think about Veronica. Veronica had said she wanted a brand new, fresh start. One without Reina. Did messy people deserve clean slates? Veronica was going to try, so Reina wanted to give herself a new start too. If Veronica was going to leave her behind, Reina refused to be in the same spot where she left her.

It hit Reina that she must not have cared about Baltimore that much if she felt nothing from this breakup. They'd been together for more than a year, Reina's longest romantic relationship. Reina should be feeling something. Instead all she felt was drained. Mentally, she had ended things with Baltimore a while ago. She was only going through the motions with him. How had she been with Baltimore so long in the first place? Reina realized she must have the nasty habit of only staying with people because of habit. Like Veronica said. Reina still didn't agree, not in the case of hanging with Veronica, but Veronica wasn't around to argue with her about it anymore.

That little fact still stung.

Baltimore looked upset but he didn't argue. Reina wondered if maybe he mentally ended things with her before too. Maybe both of them were just pretending to be in love, acting solely out of responsibility, doing what was required of two people in a relationship. He asked her if she wanted her stuff back, she shook her head, and then he left. Reina took out her phone to delete his number and block him on all socials, and then that was that. She wondered if Veronica had blocked her just as casually.

It was a much less dramatic and painful breakup compared to her friendship breakup with Veronica. However given Veronica and Reina's history, it was more an actual breakup than a friendship breakup. There was a reason she couldn't help keep comparing the two of them. But losing her friend hurt worse. She would've given up sex with Veronica if it meant she could keep her.

Reina sunk into her bed and closed her eyes, fighting off a growing headache. She rolled a thought around in her head, trying it on for size, was she in love with Veronica? Could she have fallen in love with Veronica, if not now, maybe in the future? Now that she decided to stop being stubborn, she knew that having sex with Veronica, actively enjoying it, was not heterosexual behavior. But the thought that she would have given it up just to have Veronica as her platonic friend again made her think that it couldn't have been romantic love. And she never noticed other girls like that, her eyes didn't linger on their curves. She knew she was the main one who initiated intimacy with Veronica, but that was because she wanted Veronica close.