break the heartbreaker : luke

robert

2:37pm

i return the doodle back inside the box, along with the letter for it.

"what's next?" i ask myself, rummaging through the box. i decide to close my eyes, and whatever i feel drawn to will be the next object. like a game, almost.

why am i actually having fun?

i chuckle to myself, remembering fezco's line from euphoria.

"why you acting like that shit was fun, rue? for real, you're pissin' me off," i mumble, chuckling as i do, "acting dumb as fuck right now, god damn,"

i continue feeling different things, still smiling while i'm at it.

"all smiling and laughing and shit...ehem," i clear my throat, finally bringing it upon myself to come back to serious mode.

my fingers settle on something that has a photo-like texture. i pull it out and open my eyes, immediately pulling a funny face as my eyes focus on it.

"the fuck?"

it's a picture alright. it's a picture of me from when i was way younger than i am now. in the picture, i'm wearing my old school uniform, i'm wearing my hair down as it looks as messy as ever, and i'm looking into the camera as though i've been forced to take a photo.

this was with vada the whole time? this whole time, i thought my dad kept this in his wallet. did he give this to vada?

i look for the letter which is labelled "young luke photograph" and unfold it, immediately being greeted by vada's neat handwriting. it's a miracle that her handwriting doesn't get progressively messy even after writing numerous letters.

"i know what you're thinking. "why the fuck does vada have this photo of me from when i was a less attractive, crusty boy?" the answer is simple: your dad gave it to me."

damn it, andrew hemmings.

"it was the day you asked me to be your plus one during your family reunion. your dad pulled me aside when you excused yourself to go to the bathroom, and to my surprise, he gave me that photo of you. he told me that it was taken while your mom was still around."

"he took it out from his wallet, said that since the day he had it, he promised himself that he'd give it to the first girl luke takes to meet his family. he told me that once that day came, he would know that you knew how to trust people again."

i look at my photo, cracking a smile at how crusty my hair looks, and how messy my uniform is on me. i turn the photo around, reading words in my dad's handwriting: luke at 8 years old.

"we had only talked for about five minutes, or less, which was why i wasn't able to ask him what he meant by that. what was the significance of him giving a photo of you to the first girl you take to meet your family?"

"when i got home that night, i turned the photo around. and that was when i got to read the words written by your dad. it was a photo of you when you were 8 years old. that was when i started to connect the dots."

"you told me this before, that your mom left when you were 8. that was when you started having a hard time trusting people. so, my best guess is that your dad kept this photo of you as a reminder of who you were before your mom left. of who you were when you still knew how to trust people."

to my surprise, the paper i'm holding starts to have little droplets of water on them. it's only now that i notice that a few tears have started streaming down my cheeks.

"damn." i mutter to myself, wiping my tears away quickly.

"i guess your dad realized that i was the chosen one or something. that i was the person who made you feel that it was okay to trust again. that's why, he wanted me to have that photo of you, a you that didn't know what was about to come, a you that didn't have a single trace of hurt, a you that still knew full well how to trust people without thinking twice."