break the heartbreaker : luke

cake

4:42am

thump, thump, thump

i open my eyes slowly, being woken up by the sound of constant thumping.

my eyes are still half open before i hear the thumping again, and it's only then i start to realize that it's coming from someone banging their fist on my door.

i get up, slowly from my couch, the constant thumping getting louder and louder.

i yawn as i mutter to myself, "can't even get a 10-minute nap in."

i open my door, thinking maybe it's just fern or maurine, coming back to get something they might have left behind.

to my surprise, i'm greeted by a very drunk, giggling, shirtless calum hood.

"about time!" he says, walking inside like he owns the place, "i've been knocking for, like, 20 minutes."

"the fuck? why are-"

calum makes his way straight to the bathroom, and i'm left there, by the door, still trying to piece everything together.

calum smells like alcohol, so he's drunk, and he's puking in my bathroom. he said he's been knocking for twenty minutes, but i said i would only take a 10-minute nap.

what time is it?

i go over to my couch and grab my phone from under my pillow, my eyes widening immediately once i check the time.

it's almost 5am.

my "10-minute power nap" became a 5-hour snooze fest.

"you've gotta be fucking kidding me." i say out loud, trying to wipe the sleep out of my eyes.

it's almost 5am. i still have time to read the last letter and make my decision and head to vada's secret spot, if i do decide to give her another chance.

that was the case. but then i remember that calum's hurling his guts out in my bathroom. why is it that when they get drunk, they instantly choose to go to my apartment to sober up?

"luke," i hear calum say groggily, "i need-"

"i got it," i answer simply, thinking i would just need to do everythig i did with michael, but faster, "stay there."

he mumbles something i couldn't understand in response, before plopping his head down on the toilet bowl.

i haven't even cleaned that properly since michael was here.

i brush the thought out of my head and head towards my room, pulling out clean clothes from my closet for calum. i grab a towel for him, too.

i head towards the dryer and pop them in, and while waiting, i grab a glass of water for calum.

he's almost sleeping now on the toilet seat, but i wake him up, forcing the cup on his mouth. he drinks the water, eyes still closed.

"it was a crazy night," he smiles once i bring the cup down, "wish you were there. am i shirtless? i don't remember taking my shirt off."

"if i were there, we'd both be drunk." i say, shaking my head sideways.

i was really supposed to be with him at the party earlier, but i declined because of, obviously, vada.

"vada wasn't there either," he says, bringing his head back down on the toilet seat, "i thought she would be here. i thought you ditched it together. but she isn't here. duh."

"maurine and fern were there too," he continues, his voice echoing around the toilet bowl, "they both kept crying the whole night for whatever reason."

i hear the beep coming from the dryer and leave the bathroom, ignoring calum's comment.

once i'm back in the bathroom, i help him into the shower and tell him to take a bath and dress up, and call me when he's done.

he moves very slowly, to probably lessen the dizziness he's feeling.

thinking that i can do other things while he takes a bath, i make a move to leave the bathroom, but calum stops me before i can completely.

"how are you, luke?" he asks, his back against the wall as he turns the knob of the shower.

"i'm okay." i answer simply, looking at myself infront of the mirror.

holy shit. i haven't seen my face all day, and it's only now i see how messy my hair is, and how my eyebags seem to have doubled in size within a span of less than a day.

i crouch down towards the sink and wash my face with water, hearing calum talk again. "why didn't you come to the party?"

"my dad and brothers were here earlier." i answer, hearing him yelp because of the cold water.

it's silent for a few seconds as he adjusts the temperature of the water, and i really want nothing more than for me to be sitting back down on my carpet, reading vada's last letter.

"oh, wait, vada was at the party," he says through the sound of running water, "she left earlier than i did, though. said she had somewhere to be, i think."

she probably left early to go to her secret spot. i wonder if she's nervous, or if she's thinking whether or not i'll show up.

"oh, yeah?" i answer, trying to make my hair look presentable, "how was she?"

calum doesn't talk for a bit, but he's got this smile on his face as he massages his hair under the shower.

"you still care about her, huh?" he says, still smiling.

"i was just curious." i say simply.

he turns the shower off, and extends a hand so i can give him the towel. he dries himself off, and dresses up.

i check the time on my phone, and my heart instantly starts to beat faster once my eyes focus on the time. 5:24am.

calum makes his way towards the couch, with the same smile still on his face.

at this point, i'm thinking if i should still push through with this at all.

should i still read the last letter, only for me to make a hasty decision i might regret because i took a fucking five-hour nap causing me to lose time?

should i just forget any of this ever happened, throw out the whole box like vada suggested, and move on with my life?

or should i just leave now, and just think about it on the way there?

i glance at calum, and he's still looking at me with a smug facial expression. like he knows something i don't.

"vada was a bit tipsy earlier and she told me something," he yawns, "makes me wish that you'd admit that you still care about her. cause she obviously still cares about you."

"what'd she say?" i ask, glancing down on my phone again. 5:27am.

all of a sudden, calum looks sober. he no longer has that playful facial expression. instead, he looks as serious and as sensible as ever, like it's not 5 in the morning and he hadn't just vomited twenty minutes ago.

"she said that she's not the world's most religious person, but she talks to God about you."

"and not the kind of talking where she prays for you to come back to her, you know?" he continues, "she says she just prays for you to be safe and happy everyday. to make all the good choices. those are the things she prays about."

i stand still, not expecting him to say that.

"i think i should've told you this earlier but," calum snuggles more on my couch and starts closing his eyes,"she also told me to come here and make sure you leave before 5:30, or else you're not gonna make it. whatever that means."

the time on my phone reads 5:29am.

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one chapter left then the epilogue im gonna cryY

- au