break the heartbreaker : luke

pistachio

everyday, i tell myself that i'm going to start moving forward. i talk to myself to try and convince myself that i can do this. that i can move on from this pain.

but the second i see luke, i find myself going back to square one.

i just can't help it. seeing him, no matter the situation, always makes my heart flutter.

whether it's him playing basketball, him walking down the hallway, or whether he's just sitting down across from me.

no matter where he is, and no matter what he's doing, i always find myself looking at him as though he's golden.

"vada." i hear ashton's soft voice next to me, causing me to snap out of my thoughts.

"yeah?" i ask, turning my attention towards him.

"you're not listening," he frowns, "we have an activity due in twenty minutes and we're not even halfway done."

i look down on the piece of paper on ashton's desk, seeing that we've only answered 2 over 5 of the word problems mr. bryan asked us to do.

"sorry," i mumble sheepishly, "got lost in my own thoughts again."

"looks like you're not the only one," he murmurs close to my ear, "luke's looking at you."

i turn my head discreetly over to where luke and fern are sitting.

fern's got her head bowed, writing away on their worksheet, and luke's staring at me. he looks away the second we lock eyes.

"you know what? i'm a good friend," ashton says, looking at me, "so i'll finish the worksheet, and you can keep sulking as much as you want, take your time, i understand that you're healing."

"oh, ash, you don't have to-"

"but i want to," he urges, "on one condition."

"which is?" i ask.

he clicks the pen, and looks at me straight in the eyes before he speaks.

"i have less than twenty minutes left to finish this," he says quickly, "so you're going to have to keep quiet first, okay? i need to be in maximum focus for this, v."

"understood." i answer, nodding once.

"i'll listen to everything you have to say after this, i promise," he continues, "i just need a few minutes of silence."

"last seventeen minutes," mr. bryan says, causing ashton's eyes to widen, "i hope you're all nearly done."

i make a motion towards ashton, which is that i'm sealing my lips, then pretend to throw the invisible key away.

he instantly returns his gaze to the worksheet, and starts computing like there's no tomorrow.

another seventeen minutes of sulking for me.

i bow my head down on my desk, and exhale. it's already the last period of the day, but it seems like the day went on forever.

i hear ashton sounding like a madman, muttering numbers to himself and clicking his pen at a fast manner, but i know he's going to finish that worksheet. he always does.

while ashton's got numbers and equations in his head, there's a single thought that won't leave mine.

luke hemmings, of course.

a week has passed now since that night, but everything still hurts the same. if anything, it hurts more now.

everyday, luke parks his car at his usual parking spot in front of school. but everyday, there's also a different girl on the passengers seat.