break the heartbreaker : luke

fern

i woke up today with the heavy feeling in my chest heavier than usual.

aside from the usual sadness i've been feeling since prom night, i woke up today with another feeling.

i know this feeling. it's the same feeling i got that day luke gave me a bouquet flowers for valentines day.

it's that feeling i always got in my bones, as i'd feel my palms get sweaty, with nervousness sitting at the pit of my stomach.

this is the feeling i'd get when i know something's about to happen.

and from the looks of how my life is going now, i'm preparing myself for the worst. there's no way in hell i'm expecting anything good to happen to me.

since i'm in no mood to drive to school, since i actually spaced out the other day as i drove which caused a series of honks be directed toward me, i asked ashton if he could pick me up.

i'm currently seated at he curb in front of my apartment, fiddling nervously with my phone case as i wait for him.

something's about to happen. i know it. this feeling i get is almost never wrong.

i watch as ashton's black volkswagen pulls over right in front of me. i get up from the curb and dust off any dirt that may have stuck on my clothes.

i get in ashton's car, and he's beaming at me as i fasten my seatbelt.

"good morning!" he chirps as he starts to drive.

"morning." i answer, smiling slightly at him, since i can't reciprocate his energy fully.

somehow, the second i got in his car, the nervousness i felt intensifies.

"ash?" i ask, fiddling with my phone.

"yeah?" he asks, his eyes fully focused on the road.

"have you and maurine talked recently?" i ask softly.

he exhales before speaking, and the smile on his face disappeared.

"yeah, we talked. the day after prom," he starts monotonously, "i called her out on her bullshit. i tried to tell her where she went wrong and that what she did was fucking crazy."

"then what happened?" i ask, setting my phone down as i stare at my lap.

"she didn't listen." he deadpans.

"oh." i sigh, still looking down on my lap.

"we're not friends anymore, vada," he continues, "i don't know who she is anymore. but she's not the maurine we both knew."

i stay silent. i guess maurine really is a lost case now. there's no use in trying to bring back a person who obviously doesn't want to be brought back.

"it's not our loss, v, alright?" ashton speaks, "she lost you. not the other way around. someday, she'll look back at all of this and realize that she was wrong the whole time."

"mhm." i answer simply, since if i get any words out, i'm certain i'll just cry.

ashton proceeds to talk about this dream he had, as i look at him and try to put my full attention towards him.

we reach a stoplight, and he turns to face me. once he does, he seemed to have seen something from the window next to me, because his eyes widen.

and i felt my palms get sweatier than they already are.

"wha-" i ask, starting to turn my head away from ashton to see what caused his eyes to widen, but he cuts me off straight away.