It's Okay To Be Yourself

Chapter 3: Insecurities

Jiro's POV:
Well, that's what I've been thinking, but ever since my Hero Too performance, I thought higher of myself, I made everyone happy by being myself, I used to hate myself, but I was getting better..

Is what I'd like to say, but it's been awhile since my Hero Too performance and all these bad thoughts were coming to my head again.

Like for example, class 1-B put on a play and it did better than my song which made me insecure. What did I do wrong? Did I mess up at one part? Which part did I mess up at? Am I not good enough?

And I'll never forget how Mineta treated me. You see, a while back, Mineta was trying to look through the peep hole of the girls changing room because he's a pervert, but while he was commenting on all the girls, he never commented on me which made me have low self confidence and self esteem.

That made me insecure too. Am I not pretty enough? Am I not likeable enough? What makes me different from the other girls? What doesn't he like about me? Is it because of my tomboy nature? Is it because I'm too flat? Or am I just not likeable?

Sometimes I wondered why the girls even became friends with me, I'm so different than them. They liked shopping, going to the mall and going out in general, while I would rather play video games and stay inside.

At first I tried liking what the girls like, but it stopped being fun when I saw how different there style was from mine. I mostly bought baggy clothes and they mostly wore pink.

The only one who really understands my style is Mina because she's a meh girl, which means she's not too girly, but not too tomboy either, she was just in the middle.

The girls also tried liking what I liked, but only Mina enjoyed it. There was also another thing that was bothering me.

You see, I was starting to get a crush on Denki. I think I had a crush on him before, but I was too scared to admit it and even then when someone asked me about it I said I didn't like him to avoid getting hurt by him.

You see, Denki was friends with Mineta and I thought "if Kaminari did like me, he would call Mineta out for saying I'm flat." Also I thought he wouldn't like someone like me.

He's happy all the time, I'm depressed all the time, he's very outgoing, I'm an introvert. He also didn't notice how I was blushing around him or how I act differently around him. Like how didn't notice that I love him? I'm pretty sure I made it obvious and if he did like me, he would've asked me out already like how he did with the other girls.

That's why I made fun of him, I didn't want him to know I had feelings for him because I thought if he knew then he would break my heart.

I thought, 'one day, when I find the person that loves me back, I want to know what they see in me, I want to know why they love me' because to be honest.. I needed help loving myself.