Against Time | k.th. ✔

三十八 : epilogue

"So what specifically was it that made you accept whatever I said as true?" Taehyung elicited a feeble chuckle, prompting Yeseul to reach for his back and gently caress it.

"I thought you were dead, Taehyung." A sob interrupted her speech, causing the addressed man to spare her a glance full of concern. Though, once he registered that Yeseul's reaction stemmed from her care for him, he rotated his head and fixated his gaze at the wan walls that stood upright in front of him— appearing like on the brink of zoning out.

"I would have, had you taken another year to reach me—"

Yeseul interjected with a shush, as if forbidding him to state the hapless word.

"Don't joke about dying." She mumbled, recoiling to her previous position when she felt assured about Taehyung not experiencing those spasmodic coughs again for the time-being, "What happened back then? How did you end up using his name? And why were you presumed dead when you're still alive in this day and age? How did all this misunderstanding come about to be, Taehyung?"

As much as the episode instigated immense fret and despondency to develop in Taehyung's heart, it was also the most recent memory that he had of his late friend— who did not bother to think over his decision for it was his dearest pal whose life was being simultaneously endangered and therefore, solely depended on him— that he would never forswear no matter how much direly the circumstances tended to unfold before him.

Taehyung gulped apprehensively, unwilling yet prepared to be imbued with the reminiscence yet again.

"We could not achieve what we had planned to. In retrospect, I can see why we failed. Of course, it wasn't a walk in the park to harm the Emperor. I would've been content if we all had safely made it back to our homes. A wishful thinking of mine, I know, but it wasn't totally impossible either." He cleared his throat, a gesture signalling that what he imparted till now was but the tip of the iceberg.

"Anyway, we got caught by the Japanese soldiers. Sangcheol and I had sort of a headstart because we had spotted them in action in the barrack opposite to ours. I wish we hadn't availed the privilege, though. It was due to that extra time only that the idea of sacrificing himself for my sake cropped up in Sangcheol's mind. And I, foolishly enough, heeded his words." Taehyung exhaled in defeat, biting his lips from the inside in order to restrain the impending tears for as long as he could.

"Why do you take your life for granted? Aren't you supposed to be thankful to him for saving your life?" Yeseul murmured, impaling Taehyung's skull through her gaze.

"I would never be of that stance, Yeseul, even you know that. It's just that— I've taken so much from him... his name, his identity, and in return of that had my own name declared as one of the martyrs. Could I be more shameless than that? It's the overwhelming guilt that makes it difficult for me to breathe when such a tragic past is associated with me— a selfish past, to be more precise." With a vision that had now grown disoriented, Taehyung cribbed.