𝐑𝐈𝐃𝐄 | B.E

PART 13

013; falling

tw: mentions of abuse, alcohol, and suicide.

billie's pov

i reach out across the bed to cuddle katherine when i feel a coldness from the empty bed beside me causing my eyes to slowly open. i'm blinded by the sun due to the opened drapes then i steadily sit up checking the time on my phone, it was seven o'clock in the morning.

my eyes wander the room searching for kat until they glance down and i see her sitting on the floor legs crossed, she had my science book out with a little notebook i'm assuming she'd taken from her bag.

"baby?" i spoke roughly while gently rubbing my eyes, katherine peers over her shoulder with a shocked face. "did i wake you up? i'm sorry" she immediately apologized, taking a break from writing for a moment.

"no you didn't... what are you doing?" i asked curiously scooting over to the edge of the bed, my eyes still adjusting to the light. after last night i thought she'd sleep all day but from what i could tell kat was wide awake.

"studying" katherine replied in an obvious tone along with a soft smile laced on her lips, god seeing that cute grin was the best thing i could possibly wake up to.

"oh- i'm using your textbook i hope that's okay" she adds in a sweet voice. i gaze at her utterly in awe of how beautiful she is, especially in the morning, her messy hair, natural face, and how adorable she looked in my clothes caused my heart to ache.

"your exam isn't until friday" i state reminding her she had three days, i couldn't understand why kat was studying so early in the morning. she licks her lips nervously disconnecting our eyes for a second.

"i couldn't sleep" kat elaborated with a quiet voice, my eyebrows furrowed upwards as i feel myself worry a little. "why?" i asked softly. our eyes lock again as katherine lightly shrugs her shoulders, i could tell she was holding back from me so i move back into my original spot on the bed then lightly pat my knee signaling kat to sit with me.

katherine climbs onto the bed sitting opposite me shyly scratching her arm, "i meant..." i paused gripping my hands gently on her waist and lifted her onto my lap. "here" i grinned allowing her legs to straddle me as she sat comfortably on top of me.

"how are you feeling?" i questioned while threading my fingers smoothly against the front of her hips. kat chews down on her bottom lip thinking for a long time before our eyes meet again.

"i'm okay, i think? i don't know anymore" she replied with a small sigh. the hardest part about all of this is that i've seen katherine sad more than i've seen her happy. kat's lips move as if she was about to say something but stopped herself.

"what?" i said catching her, "nothing" she shook her head quickly. "tell me" i insisted.

katherine takes a breath before taking, "i feel like every day is my last day on earth because i never know if i'm gonna wake up in the morning" she admits causing a sting to plunge into my heart and i wished that i could take this pain away from her.

"do you want to wake up in the morning?" i asked extremely gently in an attempt to not push on any nerves, kat nods hesitantly with a hurt look on her face that i even asked that question.

"i only ask because of what you-" kat cuts me off.

"i know what i said... and i'm trying really hard not to think about it" she explains. remembering last night when katherine told me she wanted to die, so she angered her father into beating her because she knew he would.