𝐑𝐈𝐃𝐄 | B.E

PART 21

021; luck

tw: mentions of paranoia and depression.

katherine's pov

for the first time in years, i had gone an entire week without letting my intrusive thoughts invade my mind. i'd been trying my absolute hardest to ignore the negative voice that always seemed to sabotage me, if it didn't have anything helpful to say i simply told it to shut up.

of course, there were a few times where i'd slip up which concluded in billie helping me calm down. panic attacks and nightmares had forever been an issue for me so i knew it would take some serious work to reduce those events.

although the fear of everything bad flooding back into my life still remained, i tried to stay as cheerful as possible. the funniest thing about paranoia is the happier you become the more scared you are of losing the people you love.

right now, i was sitting in math class writing a stupid trigonometry paper which bored the entire room, thankfully the teacher is chill so everyone could chat and not sit in silence. unfortunately, i had zero friends in this lesson so i had to entertain myself.

as a result, i wind up messaging billie for forty-five minutes. every time i received a notification my lock screen appears in my lap causing me to smile, along with the texts that never failed to make me blush as if i were a nine-year-old talking to a crush.

text notification; from bil <3
              can you pretend to be dumb
              so you can be in my classes :(
                                                                             1m ago

before i could reply to her message i feel a light tapping on my shoulder. glancing to my right i see a beautiful brunette girl with curly hair, full brows, and hazy green eyes. skin tanned and unblemished, and as smooth as silk. she's unbelievably gorgeous and she was completely aware of it.

"excuse me, you're the girl dating billie right?" her angelic hand gestures and polite tone of voice calmed me. usually from her looks alone, i'd feel threatened but she seemed sweet.

"um... yeah?" i replied fully turning around in my seat. "are you asking me or telling me?" the girl questioned accompanied by a soft laugh.

"sorry" i breathed out with a smile. "yes billie is my girlfriend" i repeated more confidently.

expressing those words out loud felt so surreal, but i was so proud to admit it. my fragile heart grew stronger day by day because of her for that i owed billie everything. i had been learning how to trust people again, for the first time in my life i met everyone with an open mind instead of immediately assuming they were out to hurt me.

"well, i don't know much about you... but you're a really lucky girl" she states with a genuine smile before reverting back to her work.

i watched from a distance how the girl smoothly tucked a strand of twirly brown hair behind her ear. clearly popular, everyone around her communicated and laughed with her. from an outside perspective she appeared like the happiest person on earth.

amazing grades, beautiful looks, a pretty large group of friends, and the most humble, sweet, and divine personality. although i had never been referred to as lucky before so it took a little while to render in my mind, and i eventually believed her to an extent.

when it came to billie i was the luckiest girl alive. whereas everything else about my entire life declined, and i wasn't as lucky as everyone apparently thought.