Celestial Worlds

Chapter Forty-three

I remember that night at the beach with Jonathan.

    After we did that, Jonathan swam me back to the shore and placed me back, my wet sin touching the dry sand. He kissed me so much that night. After he placed me back on the sand, he leaned in and gave me a few soft kisses before returning back to the water. I was naked on shore, but I didn’t care a bit. He had already seen me like this before, he’d seen all of me, so I didn’t care now.

    For once, I didn’t think about Daniel, because when we did that, my mind just grew wing and flew far, far away. I was watching Jonathan there back at the rock wall, submerging and popping his head out for air.

    My legs felt wobbly and tired, like I’ve just ran a marathon for hours without stopping. My legs felt helpless, limp, but most of all, they felt relaxed.

    Jonathan swam towards me with some things in his hand. When he rose from the water, he already had his basketball shorts on. They’re wet and dripping water. He was flicking something on his hand, like he’s drying a wet shirt, I don’t know, it was too dark to see. But I can see him perfectly, there’s still the moon that gives us generous light and I can see his silhouette very clearly. After a moment of flicking and squeezing he hands me something. I furrow my eyebrows at him and I don’t take it yet.

    He laughs and says, “Your underwear.”

    I grab it hastily and glare at him but I can’t help but smile back. I take my damp underwear and start to stand up. Then I notice Jonathan clearly enjoying the scene. “Don’t look,” I say sternly. He laughs and grabs my underwear from my hands.

    “Oh, I’ve already looked,” he says with a mischievous smirk. Then he holds out my panties, gesturing me to climb inside them.

    Good, he’s dressing me up like a three-year old.

    I roll my eyes at him and climb inside, placing my right leg over then my left. He pulls it up, slowly. Very slowly. So I just grabbed the hem and pull it abruptly. I glare at him and he laughs, placing his hands on both sides of my waist.
    “Give me my bra,” I tell him, trying to keep a serious face. He laughs and looks sideways. Then his eyes are back at me and they turn scorching red.

    “I’m not done with you just yet,” he says before leaning in and kissing me. I quickly wrap my arms around his neck instinctively and his arms tighten around me, our bare chests touching.

    I’m the one who deepens the kiss and he lets out a full moan, which to him is a grumble in the throat. I laugh flirtatiously when he does that and he laughs back, pressing his lips harder against mine. He leaves his lips on mine and then he crouches, down so his face is facing my stomach. He grabs both of my thighs and hoists me up, forcing me to wrap my legs around him. I give a yelp as soon as he lifts me up, off of my feet. He kisses me softly this time, both my hands cupping his face. His hands are on my bottoms and he’s hitching me up to get a better hold. Since I don’t have a bra on, my boobs hitch up too, hitting his chin. I felt his intake of sharp breath and I laugh, pressing myself harder against him. Then he whispers, so quietly against my lips, “Victoria.”

    I leave my lips from his and place them on his neck, kissing a bit hard, my tongue tasting saltiness from the beach. “Hmm?” I hum against his neck.

    I can hear him sigh when I kiss one last time on his neck before leaning back to get a look of his face. “Come back?” he asks me with descending eyebrows. He leans in and kisses me one time, so softly, like a whisper.

    I cup both sides of his face and look at him, look at one last time at his lips. “Of course,” I whisper back, then I kiss him fully.

---

Today marks the third month of my stay.

    When I woke, just before Daniel does, I bolted outside and checked the mailbox. Like last time, it’s in a white letter sized envelope with a symbol of the sun. As soon as I open it, it didn’t contain a message. It contained a number.

                                               92

   That’s all. That’s the only thing that’s written. It’s April now and I don’t have much time left. The letter disintegrates after I’ve been staring at it for ten minutes. I snap out of my reverie when the letter turns into ashes and I run back to the house. Daniel’s awake and he’s cooking. He has been eating lately, and I’m thankful that he has. I’m planning to go to Jonathan’s today, to tell him about my third month stay. I’m going to tell him that I don’t have much time left.

    I’m picking at my ham when I say, “Do you mind if I go to Stacy’s today?”

    He stops for a while, his fingers gripping hard at his fork. He looks around like he already knows I’m lying. Finally, he swallows and licks his lips in a bored manner. I’m starting to feel he knows what I’m up to.

    “You need a ride?” He asks flatly while looking down on his plate.

    “No,” I say slowly, worried that he does know what I’m up to. I wonder if someone told on me.

    He nods at his plate and he continues to eat. I stare at him for a moment, unsure of his expression. After a while, I stand up and dump my plate on the sink a little harshly, causing Daniel to look up for a second. I stomp back up at the room and sit on the bed for a while.

    Is he really acting like this? Of course I shouldn’t be angry. Technically, I cheated on him. I’m ashamed, I really am. I just don’t know how to end things with him. I don’t want to end things with him yet. But I feel like I need to because there’s Jonathan. Jonathan who I love.

    I was the one who had sex with Jonathan and who am I and what dignity do I have left to be mad at Daniel being mad at me. I shouldn’t mind, but for one inexplicable reason, I do. It still hurts when he gets angry and it still hurts when he looks at me like he knows I’m full of shit. It still hurts that’s why I can’t end things with him yet.

    I can’t end things with him yet because I still have feelings for him.