I don't want this here to end (Sequel to 'Smiling, like there's nothing wrong')

Part Twelve

“Don’t worry Nathan, she isn’t worth it” I say, as I place my hand on his shoulder. He quickly pulls away and that’s how I know he’s really upset.

“That’s easy for you to say. She’s not carrying your baby!” he says, raising his voice.

“I know” I sigh. What are we supposed to do now? Just when we thought things were going well, she turns up and blows everything out of the water. We were happy, we’d just announced that we were engaged and now, well now, everything’s different. When she was on the phone, I didn’t believe that she was pregnant and even if she was, I never thought it could have been Nathan’s, but now there’s no doubt about it. She wouldn’t be that far gone if it was Greg’s. She’s ruined everything.

“Do you know what?” Nathan says, as he slams his can on the table and then stands up. He’s completely lost it. It storms into the living room and walks straight over to the CD player. I watch as he pulls the wire out of it and everyone just stops. It’s like someone has cast a spell on them to make them all freeze. Everyone is now turning around to see what’s going on.

“Get out!” Nathan yells and everyone just looks at him, stunned. “Well what the hell are you waiting for? I said, get out!” he screams and I watch as people begin to leave.

“Nathan, leave it. Its fine” I say, as I rush over to him and I try to pull the wire off of him to plug the CD player back in, but his grip is too tight. “Everyone, ignore him. Stay” I shout after everyone, but it’s too late. Everyone has already rushed out of the house.

“What’s wrong with you” Nathan asks me, as he throws the wire on the floor and then walks back into the kitchen.

“What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with you, don’t you mean?” I yell, as storm after him.

“Why do you want them here anyway? It’s not like they were your friends” he says, as he sits down at the table. I stand in the door way staring at the back of him. I don’t know what to say to that. It’s not like I can argue because let’s face it, it’s the truth. None of them were my friends; all of my friends hate me.

“Right” I sigh, as I turn around. I can’t be bothered to argue with him. When he’s like this, there’s no point.

“Rheanna” he calls after me and his tone has suddenly changed. He no longer sounds angry, he sounds sorry. I turn around to see him stood in the door way.

“What?” I ask him.

“Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that” he says, as he looks down at the floor.

“Yes you did and besides it’s the truth” I tell him, as I turn around to walk away again.

“Don’t leave me Rheanna” he says, which catches me off guard. I turn around again and I start to walk towards him. He now looks slightly nervous. How could he think I would leave him?

“What? Don’t be silly. Why would I leave you?” I ask him, with a weak smile on my face.

“Everything’s a mess Rheanna. I wouldn’t blame you if you wanted to go” he tells me, as he looks down at the floor.

“I love you, Nathan. It’s going to take a lot more than my sister to drive a wedge between us” I smile.

“I just love you so much. I’m going to make sure that nothing ever comes between us” he tells me, as he pulls me into a hug. As my head rests on his shoulder, I feel everything getting too much. How can I stand here and act like nothing is wrong? He’s done everything for me and I’ve gone and ruined everything and he doesn’t even know it yet. This will kill him, I just know it. When he was with Shauna, I dreamed about us being together and in those dreams everything was perfect. I wouldn’t have changed them for the world, but now it’s actually happened it seems like all of those images and expectations were wrong. Nothing is perfect and now it can never be.

I never thought I would be the one to mess things up with Nathan and certainly never expected Shauna to come back into the picture. I know it sounds bad, but I’d hoped she would have been gone for good. She was standing in the way of my happy ending, but now she’s back to stir up some more drama. I suppose that’s what happens in life though, nothing can be perfect and nothing can be pure. Everything has to be tainted in some way or another.

I feel my eyes begin to well up and before I can even think about it, I find myself crying on Nathan’s shoulder. “Rheanna?” he asks me. I don’t even bother to answer; I just hold my breath to stop the cries. “Rheanna” he repeats, as he holds onto my shoulders and pushes me away slightly. I close my eyes for a second so he can’t see my red eyes. “What’s up?” he asks me. I slowly open my eyes and he begins to search them for an answer.

“It doesn’t matter” I tell him, as I wipe my eyes and then I move out of his grip.