Mrs. Right

Dinner Served

I was stressed about dinner with Daniel and filled with mixed emotions. He had crushed my heart. Regardless of how much pain he put me through, though, I still loved him. How could I throw the love from 25 years of marriage away as if it never existed? But I was in love with Jimin. I wanted to spend the rest of my years with Jimin. He was my life now.

Daniel knocked on my door just before six. I decided not to dress up for our dinner because the last thing I wanted him to think was that I was desperate to look pretty for him. I just put on one of my basic pantsuits and a blouse. When I opened the door, he was standing there dressed in a suit and tie. Apparently, he had decided to go all out for me. 

"Hey, you ready?" he casually asked. It was the same line he always used whenever we were going out to dinner. It was as if we were back home again and he had been waiting for me to finish with my hair and makeup. Hearing those words--his voice--was both comforting and eerie.

Namjoon let me know I could text him at any time if I needed his support for tonight, be it a shoulder to cry on or to have someone actually come and pick me up. Fortunately, Daniel chose to take me to the restaurant right in the hotel, so it wouldn't be hard to get away from him if I needed to.

Get away from him. What a crazy thought! Never in my wildest dreams would I have ever dreamed of using that phrase in reference to my husband. It was surreal. I wasn't sure how he would act tonight, or how he would respond to what I had to say.

As we sat down at our table, Daniel complimented me, "Wow, Addy. You-you really look great. Living in South Korea seems to be agreeing with you."

I decided to keep it civil, but I had to be careful not to lead him on. "Thank you, Daniel. I like to think so." The waiter came and we ordered drinks. As we waited for them to arrive, I sat quietly, reviewing the menu. Once I had decided on what to order, I set the menu down and began fidgeting with my fingernails.

"So, how have you been, Addy?" he asked. I crossed my arms and stared at him silently. "Addy, come on. Talk to me."

"Talk to you?!" I scoffed.

"Addy, I'm trying. I'm here, aren't I?"

"Yes. Exactly why are you here, Daniel? You hate California. Did you come to collect the divorce papers? If so, that's too bad. I left them at home." At home. It suddenly felt weird that I had called my apartment in Seoul my home.

"So, you haven't signed them yet?" Daniel raised an eyebrow and smiled. He actually had hope written all over his face. He seemed happy that I hadn't signed them.

Just as I was going to respond, the waiter brought our drinks and took our orders. After the waiter left, I lowered my voice to contain my anger. "No. My divorce lawyer and I are still discussing the details of the divorce. We want to have a few changes made before I'll agree to sign."

"Addy, don't bother."

"What? Are you saying you won't agree to any changes my lawyer and I make?"

"No . . . Addy, don't sign them. I-I don't want a divorce."

Dumbstruck. I was just plain dumbstruck. "Really? You sure have a funny way of showing it."

"I know. It was stupid of me. I thought maybe . . . maybe if you realized you could lose me, you would come back home to me."

"So it was all a ploy? You thought you could trick me into coming back to Colorado? That was an awfully risky move, Daniel. What if I had signed them right then and there?"

"The thought never even crossed my mind. I honestly thought you would come back to me."

"It didn't have to be like this, Daniel. You refused to make any compromises. Are you seriously saying that you thought dangling a divorce over my head would make me realize I could lose you? Well, guess what? I didn't lose you. You lost me. You lost me with every text and voicemail you refused to respond to. Do you have any idea how many times I called your number knowing . . ." I began to choke up, ". . . knowing you wouldn't bother to answer, but at least I'd get to hear your voice telling me to leave a message? And knowing that you wouldn't bother to call me back? For shit's sake, Daniel! You didn't even wish me a Merry Christmas! You threw me away--both me and Aidan. You fucking threw us away!"