If I should fall

twenty two

When they finally untangled from their embrace, both boys were smiling shyly. Connor was still firmly holding onto Evan, refusing to put the smaller boy down. 

"Upstairs?" Connor finally asked, nodding his head in the direction of the stairs. Evan nodded, trying to keep his chill. Everything had gone so well so far. And it was going to stay that way. Or else. 

Connor carried Evan up the stairs, and it was only once they'd entered his bedroom that he finally deposited Evan on his bed. Evan buried his face in Connor's blanket, smiling all over his face. 

"Your room smells like you."

Connor, who was still standing up next to the bed, smiled and ran his hands through his hair. "Yeah well..... deal with it, Hansen. It's what you're stuck with for the foreseeable future," he joked. 

"That's ok. I love it," Evan mumbled into the duvet. 

"Well I love...." Connor trailed off. He wanted to say it. He really did. But he just couldn't. Not yet. Evan sat up in the bed, his big brown eyes solemn. "It's ok, Connor," he whispered. "You'll get there." A mischievous grin crossed his face and he leaned forward and kissed Connor on the cheek.

"Tag. You're it."

Connor raised his eyebrows, the corners of his mouth creasing despite his best efforts not to smile.

"Oh, really? You wanna play that game, Hansen?" 

Evan shrieked as Connor flung himself onto the bed, peppering Evan in kisses. Evan laughed childishly as Connor kissed him all over his face. After a few minutes, he stopped. Connor was laying on top of Evan, IN HIS BED, both of them breathing heavily from all the laughing. A dirty image flashed through Connor's mind. 

NO, CONNOR, STOP THAT. NOW IS NOT THE TIME.

To distract himself, Connor dipped his head to place a single kiss on Evan's lips. "You're it."

Evan smiled shyly, but he reached up and kissed Connor back. "No you're--"

Connor didn't let him finish the sentence, instead connecting his and Evan's lips again, running his hand along Evan's jaw and parting his lips to deepen the kiss. Evan reached his hand up and tangled it in Connor's hair, pulling him impossibly closer. When Connor ran his tongue over his bottom lip, Evan couldn't contain himself and he moaned softly. 

Connor gently pulled away, and Evan turned crimson. He had really hoped that Connor wouldn't notice. However, when Connor smiled at him, that smile that made Evan's insides turn to jelly, he knew full we that Connor had heard. 

"You're sexy, Evan Hansen."

Oh.

Evan didn't know what to say, so he didn't say anything. An awkward silence probably would have followed, except Cynthia chose the moment to knock loudly on the door. 

"Connor honey, are you in there? Can I come in?"

Connor rolled off the bed with a groan. He nodded his head towards the door with raised eyebrows as Cynthia knocked once again. 

"I'm fucked," he mumbled to Evan.

And Evan spoke without thinking.

"Not yet, but maybe later," Evan muttered.

Immediately Evan covered his mouth in horror at what he'd just said. However, Connor didn't seem to find it shocking at all.

"You said it, not me," he shrugged with a wink, a smirk flitting over his face.

Turning his attention back to the door, he blew Evan one more kiss before answering Cynthia. "I'm alive, mom! What do you want?!"

***