If I should fall

nine

Connor woke up with a sinking feeling in his stomach. However, he couldn't seem to remember why. 

oh. 

oh.

OH.

The events of last night came crashing back all at once, barely giving Connor time to catch his breath. Hugging Evan. Getting back in the car with Zoe. Crying uncontrollably in the car. Zoe trying to comfort him. Getting annoyed at Zoe. Screaming at Zoe. Zoe crying. Connor crying. Getting out of the car. Running across the road. Almost being hit by a car. Zoe screaming. Connor wishing it hadn't braked in time.  Running home still crying. Climbing in through the window so he wouldn't have to face his parents. Getting stoned shitless.

Connor buried his face in his duvet, wishing he'd never woken up.

"Connor, mom says you have to get up or you'll be late to school." Zoe's voice, perfectly measured, dragged him out of his pity party. 

"Tell her I'm not going."

***

Twenty minutes later Connor was sat in shotgun, Zoe driving them both to school. Connor unlocked his phone and flipped the camera around to use as a mirror. 

Oh shit. 

Connor usually didn't put too much effort into his looks, but he looked as if he hadn't slept in a week. Trying desperately to flatten his hair and straighten his jacket, Zoe glanced over at him curiously. 

"Who's this you're trying to impress then, huh?" She asked, raising her eyebrows teasingly. "Got yourself a girlfriend?"

"Shut the fuck up, Zoe," he muttered, his face heating up. But not because she was teasing him, he knew full well that there was nothing of the sort and could not care less. It was... it was the fact that she expected him to want a girlfriend. Just like the whole rest of the universe. And now Connor was sitting on a secret no-one knew about; a secret that made him even more of a freak that he already was. Connor had hoped that maybe Zoe would be different. After all, she was a decent person. No. Better than that. Zoe was great, and he was the one who'd messed up their relationship. Either way, he'd still hoped that she wouldn't be the type to assume his sexuality. But naturally , just like everyone else, she did, and Connor was left with no one. Or?

"OR HAVE YOU GOT YOURSELF A BOYFRIEND??? OH MY LORD, IS IT THAT EVAN KID FROM YESTERDAY?!?!" Zoe shrieked, almost crashing into the car in front [which she avoided, because she was Zoe].

Connor grinned embarrassedly. Finally someone who didn't assume he was straight. Wait, but what? Evan? 

"NO EVAN HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS WHATSOEVER WAIT WHAT ARE YOU EVEN SAYING THERE IS NO THIS NOTHING THERE IS NOTHING GOING ON I WAS JUST SMILING BECAUSE YOU UNLIKE EVERYONE ELSE DID NOT JUST ASSUME I WAS STRAIGHT AND THAT WAS A VERY UM GOOD FEELING BUT NOOO EVAN HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS SPEAKING OF EVAN DO YOU THINK HE'S OK AFTER YESTERDAY NOT THAT I CARE ABOUT HIM WHAT NO UM...." 

Zoe turned to look at her brother, completely baffled.

"Right, whatever," she said, shrugging carelessly. Either way, she quite liked Evan. He was nice, and he seemed like he would actually not be a dick unlike a lot of the people she knew. Maybe it could be a good thing if her brother was friends with him. 

"Right Connor, have a lovely day," Zoe said sarcastically, parking the car.

Zoe watched him shuffling towards school, hands in pockets, head down. Suddenly he saw something, a person, and he straightened himself up, running a hand nervously through his hair. After a split second's hesitation, he strode purposefully towards them. 

Zoe didn't see who the person was, but she still smiled from inside her car. He'd found a purpose, she could see that. And she was proud of him.