Punching Bag on Pages

Paul Walker

Beautiful.

It's the first thing I think of when I see Paul.

The most beautiful man, inside and out. There is truly no one else on this planet that I feel so strongly about (except for Jensen Ackles). He had a passion for not only cars, but life in general. Paul never took one breath for granted, using the time he had for the benefit of others.

I just saw Furious 7 on Tuesday night, the seventh of April (2015). As soon as Paul appeared on the screen, the audience and I just gasped. I was speechless, thinking of how much of an absense he left in this world. Throughtout the entire movie, I was cherishing every second of him on screen, and wondering how they would end it. And every freaking time Brian O'Connor spoke, smiled, or laughed, I smiled back. Seeing him so happy made me happy.

As soon as Brian got out of the beach chair in the final scene, to join his child and wife, I knew tears were to follow. Dom looked at Brian with so much respect, and it was as if Dom transitioned into Vin in that moment. In the few seconds of the camera being on Vin, it was like he came out of character. It was just Vin smiling at Paul from then on.

Sorry, I need to pause to wipe up my tears. I've gone through a whole box of tissues with three nights of crying.

Then the tribute started. I don't look at the tribute as just Dom to Brian, their characters. When the two cars were side by side, it was Vin and Paul. Although it was Cody to look like Paul, it felt completely real. It felt like Paul was sitting in the car, smiling one last smile at Vin and the audience. Vin was with his brother once again, for the last ride.

And as the song was playing in the background, it felt like Vin was speaking the lyrics to Paul.

"It's been a long day, without you my friend. And I'll tell you all about it when I see you again." All of the time since Paul died has been filled with the most pain. Every day has been long without him here. Since November 30th, 2013, Vin has been wanting to share the great and horrible experiences he has gone through. He has been longing for the day that he can see his brother, and longing for the next smile, laugh, hug, and beer to share with Paul in Heaven. Every day brings Vin farther from the memories, but closer to being with Paul again.

Michelle Rodriguez, a great friend of Paul's who plays Letty in the movies said in his honor, "He just loves, and he can't understand why people can be so mean and so cold and sometimes... not care. His heart was so open, wanting to care, that he couldn't understand why people didn't feel the way he did."

Paul created a program, called Reach Out Worldwide. His brother Cody couldn't have described it better, stating that ROWW is a "quick-response organization of professional volunteers, ranging from: doctors, nurses, paramedics, EMTs, water and sanitation experts, and heavy machinery specialists that deploy to areas affected by natural disasters around the world." Reflecting on Paul, Cody explained that "He created ROWW as a way for him to actually get dirty. He didn't just want to put his name on something, he wanted to actually be a physical force behind it."

"This is something he did without ever really wanting recognition for it. He could have easily thrown his name all over the organization, but he wanted it to grow organically and he wanted to make a difference."

Paul's father remarked, "I remember when he visited Haiti after the massive earthquake hit in 2010. He said to me 'Dad, I can't believe that people live like this, in such poverty. I want to do everything I can to help'."

I can only dream of being close to the kind of person Paul was. I hate using the word "was", as if he doesn't affect the world today. Right now, he is still with Vin, his daughter, and the fans in spirit. He will be with us forever. I think of him nearly every day: when i hear "See You Again" on the radio, when I glance over at this small poster i made of him, when I see Vin or Cody on social media, when i'm driving... he is and always will be one of the greatest men to grace the film industry, to grace the Earth.