Forget Me Not

Chapter Nine

Mew was in the shower. Part of the morning routine he went through before heading to work. For the past few days, there had been one addition to his well-organized ritual. He had to jerk off. He was healthy and young and he had a perfectly normal sexual appetite. But for the last few weeks, his body had been a lot more demanding. His mind, a lot more rebellious.

Mew had finally capitulated.

He could have found any number of willing men to go to bed with. He could have called one of his friends and organized a date. But whenever he tried, his fingers would hover on the number or the app before closing it and returning to the contact page for Don't Call Him. It was getting harder and harder to resist. Yet he still pushed his phone away.

Waking up with morning wood was absolutely normal. Waking up in a cold sweat because he'd had yet another sex dream and he could feel the edge of his orgasm just below the surface. That was new. Being so sensitive to his own touch that he could come in under a minute of self-gratifying stimuli; entirely too embarrassing to even speak about.

The fact that Mew had started actively contemplating going to see Korn was the one indication that things had gotten out of hand. He should have had better control of his emotions; his attachment to Korn. Instead, he found himself back where he'd been all those years ago. Pining for somebody who didn't want him.

He knew better, didn't he?

Towel around his waist, he wiped the fogged mirror and looked at himself for a second before he turned away in disgust. He didn't know better. He could still feel the stirring of desire even after taking care of himself. The longing for a touch that went far deeper than his skin. But it wasn't just the stimuli he wanted. He wanted Korn.

What had Korn done to him?

There's had been an implicit understanding. Sex; no strings attached. If Mew had been honest, he'd never thought they would meet again after the first time. The single, unfortunate coincidence should not have, so easily, led to others like it.

Two months after their first encounter, Mew had been at the same bar. Not waiting for Korn, but definitely holding onto the hope that he would show up. If Korn had asked him to go to the bathroom again, he would have turned him down. It was easy to draw an arbitrary line he would not cross to protect himself.

What he hadn't realized was that it allowed so much more than it protected him from. So, when Korn had asked for his room number, he had no reason to refuse. Korn seemed to know exactly how far to push Mew and he did it with amazing skill.

Mew expected a level of hesitation. Anything that made it feel like they weren't on the same page. The feeling of Korn around him, on top of him, inside him had felt so familiar and welcome that Mew couldn't find any reason not to lay himself bare in front of Korn—the one person he could not keep the yearnings of his body from.

It didn't mean he was oblivious to the danger. The needs of his body were one thing; his heart was not welcome there any more than it would have been with any other casual hookup.

That really should have been the last time. Safe in the fact that they lived kilometres apart, and no longer had any common ground to stand on, should have assured their permanent disconnection. Just like it had when they were in college. Even being on the same campus had not been sufficient cause to run into each other once they made up their minds to go their separate ways.

Maybe it was because they hadn't decided anything at all.

Maybe they kept being thrown together by fate—or something like that—until they made up their minds.

It was the only explanation for how they met at a conference. Of all the places in the world, Mew had not expected to come all the way to Pattaya and find Korn standing in line for the same check-in package he was getting. It would have been cowardly to hide and pretend he hadn't seen Korn. But it was also impossible to stop thinking of all the things they would do if they were staying in the same place for the three days and two nights of the conference