Russian Roulette | Rusame | Countryhumans AU

Once in a Blue Moon

Within the Russian's eyes, America couldn't help but notice his dilemma, his fingers constantly tensing and loosening as if unsure if he actually wanted this.

It was something America didn't understand, he killed his dad, that was definite motive and an unshakable one at that. Why was there a need to think twice before impaling the prince? The clear cut answer should be to just do it.

A part of America knew that he could break free and put up a fight, but he didn't want to. Maybe he felt like he deserved this, to him, whatever happens to him later, even death, is the only way to truly express remorse.

"Why did you save me in the end?" The Russian's amber pupils shook as his breathing trembled. What came out of America's mouth was an all so familiar response, "I wonder why too."

His head turned to the side to lay against the grassy greens that grazed the side of his cheek, "perhaps I didn't want to owe you anything," the prince let out a breathy chuckle, playing the role of the arrogant prince.

"I guess I was appalled by the idea of owing my life to a mere dragon, how shameful don't you think? I'm the best of the best, how could I owe anything to someone like you?"

"Don't try to purposefully make me mad," a low growl escaped the guard's throat, his fingers around America's throat unconsciously clenched tighter.

Russia couldn't help but narrow his eyes even more, "why aren't you fighting back?" To be honest, he expected a fight between them to break out until either one of them was beaten black and blue. However it seems that America didn't react as he expected.

"The only way to show remorse is by offering my whole body, you can use me as you'd like or even kill me. I... don't know how else to prove that I genuinely feel guilty."

It has always been engrained in his mind, if he made a mistake then the king would furiously rip apart his body repeating words like 'if you really feel guilty then you wouldn't be struggling or crying!' 'Just let me do this, it's the only way I'll believe your apologies.'

And so America never learnt how to apologize, in fact he was horrible at it. Just letting the other party vent all their anger on him, after all what does it matter? He can just regenerate again and again.

It's not like he can still feel every ounce of pain... right?

Russia didn't know why, but the prince's response made him seethe with anger, knowing how he must've gotten such a mindset and the fact that he assumed Russia would do the exact same as everyone else has.

"I don't want an apology like that." Slowly, the pressure on the prince's throat disappeared just as fast as it came, Russia had let go. His other hand lowered as well, America was utterly confused, still laying still on the ground.

His icy blue stare bore holes through Russia's skull, watching with hesitance. A low voice spoke, "I'm weak aren't I? Not being able to avenge my dad for his death, I can't even bring myself to kill you, not like this."

Through Russia's lowered head, America saw a smile on his face, one of shame and anger, however it was anger at himself. "He was once the most important person to me... but now someone else has taken the role."

"Someone annoying, Someone that I wish would just shut up, someone I have to deal with everyday without a break and yet, I can't get enough of you."

This 'someone', America didn't know who, but the last person he expected it to be was himself.

He certainly didn't expect the last part of that sentence, constantly hung on the 'you' part. His gaze was confused at first but slowly morphed into one of shock as he pieced together more and more.