𝙒𝙝𝙞𝙩𝙚 𝙃𝙤𝙩 𝙁𝙤𝙧𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧 - 𝐵.𝐸

28 - 𝘋𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘩 𝘉𝘦𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘴 𝘏𝘦𝘳

"Clearwater officials have called off the search for Sarah Jackson. Nineteen year old Sarah went missing last year on August 24th and was last seen by her parents in a grey sweater and black jeans. After months of searching, police came to the conclusion that she was planning to run away from home which her parents said was never a possibility they thought could be true. Lisa and Trevor Jackson have called off the search for Sarah leaving some residents still wondering why she ran..."

I'd be so much happier if I were dead.

Well, if everything works out I will be.

Would death grasp my fingertips, slowly filling me with poison until every inch of me was drowning in darkness? Would my lungs fill with water and dirt until I suffocate?

How would it feel being dead? How would it feel watching her cry at my funeral when I'm not even in the grave?

I spent my remaining days in my shitty room in this shitty town trying to figure out how to make her love me again. Moving to Clearwater was the worst decision they had ever made.

Who moves from one of the richest neighborhoods to a random town in the middle of a forest? I hate it here.

New Opportunities my parents said. Like that would help me grieve over having to leave the only person I ever cared about back in New York.

We'd only been apart for three months and Maddy's already getting more and more distant from me. Liking random girls posts online, talking to new people....ugh.

I started losing hope long before she ever did.

Being with each other, being able to touch each other was our love language. The longest we had been apart was no more than seven days our entire lives. And now she's slipping out of my grasp, I can tell.

I needed to find a way to get her back, to prove to myself that she loves me as much as she says she does.

And out of all places the start of my plan started late that night at a run down gas station outside of Clearwater.

***

I sat in my car for hours upon hours in the middle of nowhere listening to her playlist she sent me. I drove straight out of Clearwater and into a random town I didn't recognize before driving to a gas station on the way home...even though it could hardly be called a home.

I didn't have a destination, I didn't care where I would end up or when. I just wanted to leave. Why didn't I just go to a local store near my house to pick up more cigs? Well I'm just bored.

I stepped past some guys leaning against their trucks into the brightly lit building filled with rows of snacks and candy.

"Marlboro reds and a coke." I say before giving the cashier some change from my pocket.

I walked out the glass door hearing the bell go off above my head while I opened the pack of cigs and threw the plastic wrapping on the floor.

I reached my hand back into my empty pocket for my lighter- fuck. I forgot I gave it to Maddy before I left.

I looked around for someone else smoking until I turned around seeing a girl alone lighting hers trying to not let the air blow it out.

I walked up to her standing at the end of her converse as she sat unbothered by my presence on the curb beside the small building.

"Uhh do you think I can borrow that?" I asked the girl staring at my shoes unresponsive like I was invisible.

She looked up as if a mirror was painted on her face and my reflection shined upon it. She had the same warm skin tone, the same brunette curls I had ,even the same freckles. We looked so similar, only she looked drained of life and emotion.