I Still Do

Chapter 19

(Voices Carry By Til' Tuesday)

Daytona's Pov

TW- Panic Attack/Nightmares

"Smiling like a maniac." Max said, cutting me out of my thoughts.

"That's what happens when you're in love."

"Yuck."

"Shut up, you already do it."

"No I don't!" He exclaimed loudly, causing me to laugh.

"Do I?" He asked quietly.

"You do." I said softly with a smile on my face.

"Can I get serious for a minute?" Max asked as the car came to a stop.

I looked over at him like he was crazy.

"You don't have to ask me that. Just say what you want to say. You know I'll always be there for you no matter what."

"Daytona, thank you for always being there for me. You do a lot for me, and it doesn't go unnoticed by me, even if you think it does."

I smiled softly as the light turned green and I started driving again.

A bright light caught me off guard as it came racing towards us. I threw my arm in front of Max, holding him back. Before I knew it I felt my hands get fuzzy, and my heart started to race. Next thing I know, I heard screaming.

"Max?!" I called out as I felt blood run down my arms. My white tank top was now red. I could feel it. I unbuckled my seatbelt.

"Daytona!" I heard a male scream in the distance, I couldn't put my finger on who it was.

The window was broken and I was carefully pulled out of the car.

I couldn't stand, I couldn't move.

"Jesus fucking god!"

"Stop! Max- he's in the car still!" I cried out as I finally opened my eyes all of the way.

He didn't know what to do as he sat there. I looked down at my shirt and it was blood red, just as I had thought.

He then got up and ran to the passenger's seat. I felt myself slowly drift in and out. I could hear the screaming, I could hear the talking. I felt so distant from reality.

"Daytona?!" I heard Max scream as he fell to the floor next to me.

"Don't lay on top of her." Phil instructed softly as he sat down next to him.

"Are you alright?" I asked weakly as I looked over at him.

His arm was definitely broken, and he had a couple scratches.

"Why did you save me?" He cried as Phil held him back.

"The paramedics are on the way, stay with us, Daytona." Phil spoke softly, but I knew he was freaking out on the inside.

"I realize why his eyes felt so familiar. It's because they were my new found safe place." I said as he smiled with the tears falling down his face.

Max was sobbing into the ground as I laid there. I was drifting away further. And I hated it. I hated every second of it. I'm not just going to give in, but giving up feels so good right now.

"Come on Daytona! Keep fighting." Phil encouraged me as my eyes started to close.

I sat up in panic and looked around the room. The green room felt like it was closing in on me. I sobbed and felt myself struggle to breathe. I coughed a couple times and the door swung open.

"Daytona?!" The voice called out to me in a panic.

He sat in front of me and I reached out to him in a panic. I sobbed into his chest and my entire body shook.

"I need you to take deep breaths."

"Can't." I managed to get out and he shook his head.
"Do not talk. I know you can." He put both of his hands on both sides of my face.

"Help please." I cried and he ran his fingers through my hair. I took deep breaths and I tried to calm my breathing.

"What happened, my love?"

"I remember." Another sob hit and I buried my head back into his chest.

"The car accident. Max screaming, Phil being there-"

"Okay, okay you don't have to say it. I get it."

"It was so bad."

"I know."

I don't know how long I stayed with my head on his chest listening to his heartbeat.

"Nice tattoo." I mumbled lifting up my head.

He wiped the tears from my face, and pushed my hair back behind my ears. His body froze, but it didn't freeze for as long as he normally froze.

"It was your favorite song." He then started humming and I closed my eyes.

I focused on him, not anything else. He was all I needed right now.

"Are you going to stay?" I asked nervously and he stopped humming.

"I don't want you to because im trying to learn to live without you. I feel like such a burden to you, and- I'm falling in love with you and all you're doing is pushing me away and I don't want to deal with that. I need to put myself first in this. I'm remembering things, and you aren't telling me much about our past together. Basically, I need to be able to move on, because that's what you're doing. I need to." I rambled and he brought his hand up and made me look at him.

"What made you think that I'm moving on?"

"You aren't telling me jack shit!" I exclaimed softly.

"Do you think that it's hard for me?"

"It's equally as hard for me too!" I stood up, and he stood up with me.

"I want to tell you, trust me i do-"

"You're making it very hard for me to trust you!"

"Daytona I'm scared."

"We've been through this already!"

"I get that! I get that Jareds-"

"Daytona." I corrected him and crossed my arms.

"I-" He stopped talking.

"You're out of excuses! See!"

"There are no excuses dammit! You're allowed to have your feelings, and I'm allowed to have mine. If I take things slower, I'm going to do that. It doesn't mean i don't care about you, it just means that i'm trying. You think it's easy on me? You don't remember me, I'm a stranger to you! And I get that you're a stranger to me, but I'm going to work at my own pace, this is something I need to get used to. I'm not trying to make you feel like shit- I'm trying to help you understand that you're not the only person feeling like this."

I grabbed a sweatshirt and threw it on before walking out of the room.

"Bloody Hell! Jareds!" He yelled following me as I opened the door to the house and walked out.

1120 Words