The Magic of Different Worlds || Severus Snape x Reader ||

Chapter 7: A Standing Offer

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A/N: This chapter is from Severus' POV!

Getting to Know You Question (GTKYQ): What has been your favorite part of this story thus far?

"If that's the case, then why do you keep going back?"

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"Severus, you're breaking my heart." [Y/N] said in a joking manner, but I knew there was some truth behind it.

"I know. I'm sorry." I apologized.

"Why can't you just tell me?" She practically begged.

The vulnerability in her voice was soul crushing. It wasn't that I didn't trust her. I just could not live with myself if something happened to her because I let our lives coincide. It was beyond unfair that fate had brought me to her, but wouldn't let me have her. I suppose that she wasn't mine to have necessarily. She was her own woman with her own sense of independence. However, I couldn't help but think about how much I desired to know her better.

"It's complicated," I repeated for what felt like the dozenth time, "If I could then I assure you that I would."

She was defeated. I could see it in her face. I didn't want to disappoint her, because she had been nothing but patient with me. It was part of her job to be curious about people and to get to know them, and I was restricting her from doing her job the best that she could.

"Alright," She sighed. "I won't ask anymore. If you change your mind though, I'm all ears."

She smiled at me then, and it was the same smile that had captivated me the first time that I saw it. She was so stunning. Everything about her was beautiful. Her confidence, her work ethic, her personality. Every single aspect of her was flawlessly gorgeous, painted to perfection without a single error of a brushstroke. It was almost as if she was too perfect to look at. Like I shouldn't have even been able to look at her.

I held a certain resentment for the world. That wasn't lost on me. I had been presented opportunities time and time again that were only stripped from me without any warning. I had grown hateful of the world because of what I had lost....the things that I wanted but never had the chance to have for myself. It wasn't fair. It was so horribly cruel and unfair that the world was presenting her to me, allowing me to spend time with her night after night. And yet I couldn't have her.

That was beyond soul crushing.

I needed to get back to Hogwarts. I had too many close calls for one evening, and I wasn't very keen on sticking around until I completely blew my cover. I swallowed the remainder of my last drink for the evening, sliding her the appropriate amount of Muggle money before standing from my seat. My visit had been short, but I was anxious to get back home. She didn't comment on my abnormally quick trip, but she did look surprised.

"I would stay longer, but I need to finish up some work before tomorrow." I told her.

I felt so culpable for lying to her. Night after night I had lied to her in some fashion. While most of my answers to her had been true on a technicality, I still knew that I wasn't being completely honest with her. She didn't deserve anything less than the truth. She had been nothing but honest with me, and anything that I didn't know was simply because she hadn't told me. She had allowed her bar to be a safe space for me, knowing that I was far from my comfort zone. 

I didn't want to keep doing this. I didn't want to keep sneaking around the truth about who I really was....but I kept reminding myself that it was keeping her safe from the intricacies of the more complicated parts of my life. 

I nonchalantly felt for my wand that was tucked in my slacks, ensuring that I didn't leave it behind. If I left my wand behind, then I was completely done for.