7th. Unfortunately.

Delia on Lucas

So on Friday I had an allergic reaction to some lotion I had put on my face. Nothing serious, but my face got all swollen and puffed up like a marshmallow. So I didn't go to school.

That's actually not the reason I'm writing this.

I should be writing about what happened this week, because believe me it was major.

I'm not going to though.

I feel like right now, I'll talk to you about something a bit more on my mind than that stupid ass butch Bianca.

I'm writing to you about Lucas.

I feel like I've known him since forever, but really I've known him since about 4th grade. Last year, in 6th, we became really good friends.

Not like romantically.

I didn't really understand any of my feelings at that time. I thought I was in love with people I wasn't. I thought I liked people when I didn't.

Lucas was the guy who came up to me everyday and said it was national hug day, and that I had to give him a hug. I don't know why, but I loved it when he said that. I practically looked forward to it. He did that every morning, until a teacher saw one day and we got in trouble. Then he stopped.

Lucas wasn't the hottest guy in the school either. Actually, he probably wouldn't make a lot of girls top 10. He had tan skin and at the time had long Justin Bieber hair. He had glasses, too. Back then I had glasses, but before 7th I got contacts.

He was funny, too. He was a good friend and made me smile when I was upset or mad. He had good advice, too. I used to get frustrated, and just be like," Why is this happening?" Or ," What do I do?"

He always had good advice.

Last year he told me he liked me. Me still being confused about the world didn't think I liked him back.

You would think we would stop talking after that, but we didn't.

We continued to talk, which I thought was amazing.

We talked a lot over Facebook, and we talked whenever we could at school. We only had two classes together.

Then 7th grade came around, and we both had Business and Computer Science (BCS). We were assigned seat next to each other, which was great. Someone to talk too.

Then a lot of things changed.

I guess we both got a lot more flirty with each other?

We were talking literally every time we saw each other.

Then one day, in BCS, this one kid asked us if we were going out. I said no, but I guess I started looking at him differently then.

Then it started.

Every time we talked he would lean in really close to me. I should have backed away, but I never did.

That kept happening, and I remember thinking every time it happened ," When is he going to kiss me?"

That's when I started liking him. I guess when you start wanting someone to kiss you, you realize that you have feelings for them.

Then he started doing that a lot and everybody started thinking we were dating.

We weren't, and I didn't tell him about my feelings for him. At the time I really wanted to, because, if you remember, he liked me back in 6th grade. What if he didn't like me anymore though?

So I sent Jackie to ask him if he still liked me. I thought she would get the memo to be sort of casual with it, and not flat out say it, but I guess she didn't.

Later that night on facebook, Lucas was all confused wondering about it. Apparently Jackie had told him that I wanted to know. Thanks Jackie. Anyways, I knew I had a choice. I could either tell him the truth and say I liked him, or make up some lie.

I went with lying, and I told him that I was just curious. Then I asked him who he liked.

Yaaaaa... He didn't say me.

When he asked why, I guess I was just done. I figured it was now or never.

So I told him. I simply typed I like you.

I can't exactly remember, but he was just like what?

Then he asked me out.

I thought it was just because he was desperate. He told me that he wasn't. That he really did like me.

Another thing I would like to point out is that he had asked me out over FACEBOOK. That's like asking for it to not work out!

So I said no.

He logged off, after that and we sort of stopped talking.

I never got to explain why I said no.

So I got one of my friends to tell him yesterday. I still haven't got word back yet. He said she was going to ease I to a conversation with him, and then start in the subject.

No offense Jackie, but she's a little bit better at that kind of thing than you are.

So now I'm just waiting.

Waiting to see what happens.

Waiting to see if it changed anything.

Just... Waiting