Jahseh O
"What do you mean it's too late?" Stokeley asked me over the phone.
After nine long days, he finally decided to call me. But only to beg for me back.
But as it turns out, he was right. We don't need to be together.
"I just mean... too much has happened and I don't want to be involved with you anymore. At least not romantically," I explained. "You of all people should understand I mean you broke up with me."
"I know I broke up with you but it was a mistake and I'm extremely sorry," he explained.
"I know you're sorry but that doesn't change anything," I pointed out. "Why don't you try making some changes in your life. Focus on yourself so you can be better for the baby."
"Don't you think it would be better for the baby to have both of their parents together under the same roof?"
"I think it could have a good impact but on the same hand there's nothing wrong with the baby having both parents not together living apart. In fact it's common. The baby will be fine," I stated.
"So what can I do to show you that I'm ready?" He asked. "I will do anything."
I sighed, "there's nothing you can do. This is just the way things are. We aren't meant to be together, it'll never work."
"It could work if we made it work."
"I don't want to make it work, it shouldn't be a mission or job. Falling in love should be easy."
"You're not in love with me anymore?" He asked.
I had to take a few seconds to honestly think about my answer. Was I still in love with Stokeley? Yes I was. Those feelings don't just go away. I think a part of me will always be in love with him.
He's the father of my child.
But being in love with someone doesn't always mean you should be with them. And me of all people would know that.
So what do I say?
"No, Stokeley. I'm not."
