The Affair

Twenty Eight

𝙿𝙾𝚅: 𝙹𝙰𝙷𝚂𝙴𝙷 𝙾𝙽𝙵𝚁𝙾𝚈

"That doctor was flirting with you," Stokeley said as we walked into my house.

"No he wasn't," I sighed and dropped my keys in the key bowl.

"Yea he was, who just says 'oh you don't look pregnant you look great' ? Like what? And you saw how he looked at me?"

"He was just being nice and he's old and ugly anyways nobody don't want him," I explained. "I wouldn't cheat on you."

"Well you cheated on your wife with me so shit who knows what you would do," he spat.

I turned around and looked at him, "what is your problem? Why would you say that?"

"Because it's true."

"Okay," I rolled my eyes and started walking up the stairs.

I just be chilling and here he goes throwing my mistakes in my face. I feel bad enough about it already.

I walked into my bedroom and closed and locked the door behind me, wanting to be alone. I don't understand how we keep ending up back at square one.

It's like we take two steps forward and then seven steps back.

I'm tired of fighting with him and I'm tired of feeling like I'm not good enough. I keep feeling like I'm always fucking something up and I don't want to feel like this anymore.

I apologized countless times. I told the truth. What else does he want from me?

I was broken from my thoughts when I felt my tears Running down my face. I wiped them away and opened my laptop, to check my email.

I has one email from Stacy and I opened it.

Jahseh,
Here is what I've put together for this months boxes. I've included facial care and some little things of makeup, what do you think?

Stacy,
      Yes! I love it, I'm giving you full responsibility and creative freedom on this project, 50% of profits will be yours! If you could get a make version of this box together for next month that'd be amazing! I'll be sending over a contract for you to look over have a lawyer look over it as well! Thank you so much!

I made sure I didn't have any more emails to look over and then I shut down my laptop. I decided to FaceTime Ryan since I needed to vent.

When she answered she was laying on Jarad's chest laughing, "heyyy."

"Hey," I said dryly. "How you doing?"

"I'm okay, I was just sitting here with Jarad, you okay?"

"No not really," I sighed. "So Stokes and I went to see a new doctor today and he thinks the doctor was flirting with me, which yeah he kind of was but I didn't flirt back and I told him that I wasn't gonna go there so why does it matter."

"I could see where he's coming from I mean you would be jealous if the roles were switched," she explained.

"Yeah that's true. But I can get another doctor it's no problem," I explained. "But I was telling him like I'm not gonna cheat on him and he said 'well you cheated on your wife with me so who knows what you would do.' And that just made me mad cause I've admitted that I'm wrong for what I did. I told the truth and I apologized so many times. I understand it hurt him I understand it made him have trust issues. But if he can't move past it, then why are we even trying to be together?"

"Yeah I can see where you're coming from. No one wants a constant reminder of their mistakes."

"Exactly. And at the doctors he said he wants to move in together and I told him to let me think about it because we just started dating like.."

"I thought y'all been dating for three years?"

"No we were just sleeping together we weren't dating. But now we are and I just feel like it's too soon. But he wants to move in before the baby comes. Which I can get on board with, but I'm only two months along we still have seven months why does it have to be today? Like what's the rush and I'm just not ready to take that step yet."

"Jahseh it may not have been real for you those last few years but it was real to him," Jarad told me from behind Ryan.

"I know... but I just feel like he's not understanding my feelings when I go out of my way to understand his. And don't even get me started on his best friend."

"Oh, Jarad told me about that bitch. I don't like Her," Ryan smacked her lips.

"Right, so boom I was at his house asleep and I woke up in the middle of the night bitch it was 3 in the morning, the bed was empty. So I got all in my feelings and was gonna leave. But when I walked out the front door this bitch outside going the fuck off. She was saying that I was keeping them apart and shit. Mind you the night before all that happened he told me he had a crush on her so no I wasn't cool with no sleepovers between the two of them but I never said they couldn't hang out."

"This bitch wanna get her ass whooped."

"Right. So then she starts getting bold so I said fuck it if he was really down for me I shouldn't have to fight with no bitch over him. So I left right. But as I'm leaving he tells her she needs to chill and respect me and our relationship cause we're about to have a baby."

"Damn so has he talked to her since?"

"I have no idea honestly we haven't been seeing eye to eye. Every time I think we're good, there's something else to fight about. I'm just tired of fighting. I'm tired of my mistakes being thrown in my face. I'm tired of feeling like I'm alone I'm this relationship and with the baby. It seems like the only reason we are together is the baby cause I can't think of one reason he would even want to be with me seeing as he only sees my mistakes and all."

"Hey don't cry. You're gonna be fine fuck that nigga," Ryan told me.

I was now I realized I was crying, "I just... I can't do this anymore. I don't want to. If he's gonna break up with me he should just do it. And stick to it."

"Do you want me to talk to him?" Jarad asked.

"Nah it's okay. I have to go though. I just had to get that out," I explained. "Love you."

"Love you too, bye."