Step-Monster {Holby City}

Chapter 9

When he started the car, dad put in the mixed CD of mum's favourite songs. The likes of Coldplay, West Life.

The first song to come on was 'you raise me up'. 

Zosia wouldn't look at me, but I could see the tears rolling down her cheeks. I could understand why. Ladybug nudged her hand to try and get her attention but when Zosia batted her gently on the head she came back to me.  We sat there in silence, I wanted to reach out to my sister and hug her, but I knew that it wasn't the best idea right now.

The next song was 'sweet child o' mine'. I knew this would make me cry. I loved this song. I used to sing to it as a kid with mum when she took me out as a kid in the car.

Ladybug started off laying over the seat in the middle, but she managed to slowly move herself so she was sat on my lap with her head looking out of the window. I put my arms around her and cuddled her, it was the only comfort I could get. A few tears escaped down my cheeks and Ladybug stretched up to try and lick them up but I wouldn't let her.

I looked at the mirror in the middle of the car. I could see that Dad had tears in his eyes but he was focusing on driving. I made eye contact with Jac. She red puffy eyes, as if she was holding back tears too. I couldn't imagine why. Unless she was upset seeing us upset, which is kind of cute but a bit weird at the same time.

I zoned out completely to stop myself from crying, but as soon as I heard Zosia let out a sob, and I heard the song, I couldn't stop myself from crying either. 'My immortal' was playing. I glanced at dad, and he was actually crying too.  I shoved the dog off my lap and into the foot well, unclipped my seat belt and slid across the back seats to Zosia. She was reluctant at first, but when I showed I wasn't going to back down, she wrapped her arm around me and let me sit close with her. I gently lent on her shoulder and she kissed the top of my head and rubbed my arm to comfort me.

"Ssshh..." She said to me, pulling a tissue out and wiping my cheeks.

"You shush yourself then." I smiled.

When we eventually pulled up at the cemetery, Zosia and I were already worn out from crying.

I climbed out first with the dog, and walked straight to and stood by mum's grave. Dad and Zosia always had a walk around first to visit some other relatives, before sitting on mum's bench by her grave.

When we got to her headstone, I let Ladybug off the lead. She went to the headstone and sat and pawed at it for a second, before retreating to the foot of the grave and laying down, whimpering, then keeping watch. As if there was someone stood at the headstone telling her what to do. Strange dog...

I sat on the bench, and spoke to mum.

'Dad's new girl friend is with us today mum, I think you'd like her.' I had to pause every so often to cry.

'She's called Jac, and she's got long ginger hair. She's got a daughter too, called Emma.' I paused to take a breath.

'She's the lady that did my heart operation. The one that you were told I would have to have when I got older when I was a baby. I had an infection after it, but it's all sorted now and I'm on the mend.' I paused, letting out a small sniff.