Chapter 15

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When I woke up Jac was still laid next to me, she must have fallen asleep with me in bed last night. I loved snuggling up with her, she made me feel safe. She was the closest thing I had to a real mum. It was light outside and I felt better for getting some sleep. I glanced over at the ward clock which was conveniently on the wall opposite my bed, it was 8am. I loved snuggling with Jac but I didn't want her to be late starting her shift. I stretched and as I did I nudged Jac with my elbow to make her stir, and as Jac woke up I sat up.

She opened one eye and looked at me, then at the clock.

"5 more minutes..." She mumbled, closing her eyes again. It made me smile. I was the teenager, I was the one that was supposed to need poking out of bed, not her!

After a few more minutes Jac sat up, stretched and yawned. I was glad she slept with me last night. It was the best sleep I had had during my stay at the hospital.

"Morning pancake" Jac smiled at me.

"Morning ginge." I giggled back.

"I need a shower before I start my shift." Jac yawned. She got off the edge of my bed and looked in the reflection of a screen that was turned off. As Jac walked away she looked as if she was limping, it took a second to register in my head why but then I remembered about her motorbike crash years ago.

I got out of bed and walked speedily to catch up with her and hugged her from behind.

"Thank you for staying with me last night" I mumbled quietly, barely awake.

"It's okay, I get the need to feel someone's in your corner." She smiled and ruffled my already messy hair.

"How do you feel about taking your first independent shower since your operation in the cubicle next to me so I am there to assist if needed?" Jac asked.

I thought about it for a second, then I nodded. It was less brutal than being made to take a shower in front of a doctor I didn't know or being washed in my bed like I had to be the day after my surgery.

I went and showered next to Jac, it was draining but I handled it by myself which was a big tick in my discharge box. After my shower I felt fresh and clean, I went back onto the ward and Daddy was waiting by my bed with Ladybug.

"Hey darling." Daddy said in his best caring voice.

"I have a surprise?" He said pointing at my dog.

"Thank you Daddy!" I smiled jumping on my bed and hugging my dog.

"I love you Ladybug!" I smiled as she rolled on her back for a belly rub. She is the best dog in the world.

Once I had finished fussing my dog, I turned back to my father.

"How is Zoshie?" I asked.

"Zosia is much better, in a couple of days she could be able to come back to work if she continues fighting back the way she is at the moment!" He smiled. We were both glad Zosia was feeling better.

"Yay, that is great to hear!" I replied.

"Right, you have your dog, go and play, she will look after you, but be back here by 12. We're having a family meeting." Daddy said in his stern voice. I knew this was too good to be true, whenever dad gave me what I wanted it was always because there was something in it from him. Typical Guy-Selfish as me and my sister like to call him. We are both glad we chose to go by Ma's name 'March' rather than 'Self'.

I text my sister and she seemed much more balanced than she had been in the last few

'Hey Zosh, I hear you're feeling better? Xx'

'Yes, I am. Much more like myself. I'm sorry you had to see me how I was yesterday. I love you mini me xxx'

'I love you too, dad brought me Ladybug so I am going to hang out with her while I still can xxx'

'Stay safe xxx'

I went and lay on the grass in front of the main entrance of the hospital with Ladybug.

"I like the fact that I can tell you anything, and you listen, but you will never tell anyone" I said as I looked at her, she really looked like she was listening and could understand. She crawled closer to me on her belly and licked my face. I stayed in the sun for about an hour, by this point it was 11am. I had an uneasy feeling about this so called family meeting, they were never usually anything positive. I took a slow walk back to Darwin, past A&E where I saw Connie & Tamzin, AAU where I saw Marie-Claire & I spent the longest with Dom and Arthur on Kellar. They all made a fuss of my dog, she is so loveable!

I eventually made it back to Darwin just before 12, where I found Jac, Dad & Zosia waiting at the end of my bed, I immediately felt anxious. I walked up to my bed and sat down on it.

Dad looked at me and I knew what that look meant.

I reluctantly handed Ladybugs lead over to Dad and I crouched down to say goodbye to her.

"I'll see you before I go back to school, I promise." I whispered to Ladybug and I gave her one final scratch behind her ear in her favourite spot and she licked my nose.

Dad took her down to the car and returned a few minutes with an empty suitcase. When Daddy got to my bed there was a moment of silence.

"You can be discharged today" Dad announced. I wasn't sure if Dad was speaking to Zosia or me for a second.

"Princess." Jac sat attempting to put her arm around me. I knew he was talking to me at this point.

"Get off!" I muttered and flinched away from her. I stayed silent, there was a lot going on in my head. I didn't feel ready to be discharged.

"So that means back to school! We've arranged for you to go back today!" Dad said placing the empty suitcase on my bed. I still didn't say anything. I felt if I did I would burst into tears.

"I thought you'd be more pleased than this..." Zosia said sitting down on my bed next to me.

"I don't want to go back..." I whispered to her. She knows I hate that school, she went there herself. Neither of us are people who fit in a box, particularly a posh private education shaped box. I'd been in more trouble this year than Zosia had been the entire 8 years she had been at that school.

"You've got to go back, you've missed a lot of school. You need to start catching up on what you have missed now you are better." Jac said, sitting down on my bed the other side of me, so I was between her and Zosia.

"They're not going to expect you to go to all your lessons straight away, they're going to ease you back in." Zosia added softly.

"No! I am not going back!" I said firmly. I felt as if I was being ganged up on by the people I loved.

"Darling!" Dad said in a low growl in his best 'don't you dare embarrass me tone'.

"Don't make me go back, please Jac!" I looked at her pleadingly.

"I won't get in the way, I promise." I begged. I felt the tears begin to build up in my eyes and I blinked in an effort to hide them.

"I know you wouldn't, but it's out of my hands pancake, you know I would keep you if I could." She said softly. She attempted to put her arm around me but I shrugged her off.

"I HATE YOU ALL!" I yelled, jumping off of my bed and storming up the hallway. As soon as my back was turned, tears began to fall down my cheeks.

Jac went to follow me but I heard Zosia tell her to wait until I had calmed down first, which was a sensible idea. There was one place I knew in this hospital that you could get total peace, and that was up on the roof. I just needed to be on my own for a bit so that was where I was heading. 

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