Step-Monster {Holby City}

Chapter 14

When I woke up it was still dark outside. I sat up and rubbed my eyes and let out a little sigh. It took me a few seconds to realize where I was and why I was there.

I could see the glowing lights from Zosia's machine, she was still asleep and I could tell by the steady beeps that she was stable. The only time my sister looks truly peaceful is when she is asleep.

I wanted nothing more than my own bed, but I was still an inpatient. I was getting really bored of hospital life.

I was tired from the last few days, and I wanted my own space but that is impossible when you have nurses and doctors fussing over you all the time.

I stood up and stretched, I decided to go for a wonder, I would at least get better sleep up on Darwin. I was hungry, and I had a little change in my pocket, so I decided to go past the coffee shop on the ground floor of the hospital.

As I stepped out of the lift, I saw Jasmine sat at a table in the far corner of the coffee shop, scowling intently at her phone. I weaved in and out of the tables and headed for where she was sat.

"Jazzy?" I called to her. She looked up at me and her face immediately softened, things were tough between her and Jac, but I liked her. She was always kind & did her best, which is all you can ask from a human being. She reminded me of myself, a bit different but always stood up for what she believed in.

"Hello little one" She smiled to me, then she raised her eyebrows and I could predict exactly what she was about to say.

"It's 3am, you should be rest..." Jaz began as she patted the chair next to her, inviting me to sit with her.

"Please don't" I quietly cut her off. I knew she wanted the best for me, but I just wanted to chill for a little while away from the wards and feel like a normal human being for a bit.

"I know what I should do but it isn't what I want to do right now, I need a cuddle? Please? I asked as I sat down next to her.

Jaz put her arm around me and I lent into her shoulder.

"Please? Just be Auntie Jaz for a little bit? I'm sick of being a patient." I sighed.

"I'll make a deal, I'll buy you a chocolate muffin and we can sit here and talk for half an hour but then I am taking you back to Darwin where you can at least try and get some sleep. Deal?" Jaz said to me.

"Deal" I smiled and hugged her. Jaz gave me some money to buy a muffin & a bottle of Coca Cola, which was nice of her as I had my own money. I thanked her for buying me food.

"I heard what happened with Zosia, and for what it is worth I think you were incredibly brave. There is no way I would dare inject my big sister with anything!" Jaz told me, sounding genuine as I sat back down at the table.

"Your sister is the 'Ice Queen' though! She's terrifying when she wants to be" I laughed. I loved Jac but when she wanted to she could be very scary and very mean!

"But thank you. It wasn't easy, but that's what needed to be done." I added. It was nice to have my actions acknowledged. Jaz nodded and smiled.

"I just want my sister to be better. I am supposed to be the poorly one who needs looking after." I sighed.

"How are you feeling? It was a pretty major operation you had?" Jaz asked me. I'd almost forgotten about myself.

"I'm feeling okay, I've had a little bit of a temperature and raised white blood cell count the past couple of days but nothing serious. Just a little infection or bug I think, nothing major." I replied.

"Well you make sure you tell someone if you start to feel worse, we can't afford you to be poorly now! You've come this far" She smiled but in a sincere tone.

"I miss my dog." I started. Ladybug was without a doubt my best friend. I could talk to her about anything and she would never tell anyone or judge me.

"I miss my sister and I miss daddy." I continued.

"I have Zosia physically, but its as if a different person was controlling her brain at the moment. I look at her and see my sister but when she talks I don't recognize her anymore."

"You can talk to me sweetie, I had a pretty messed up childhood myself, my mum was an alcoholic and a drug addict & I never knew my sister until recently." Jaz said softly.

"Well, most of all I miss Ma'. I barely remember her, I don't know what its like to have a mum, I have prom soon, and that's something a mother should be there for. I don't remember a Christmas or birthday with her. Zosia at least has the memories, I wasn't old enough. I am supposed to have my exams soon, the other girls will have their mums to comfort them before their exams, and some of them get to come home and spend time with their mum's during term time. I will never be able to do that. I hate it when the other girls take that for granted and sit in the dorms complaining. I hope they never find out what it is like to not have a mum..." I trailed off. I looked at Jaz's face and her expression told me I was okay to continue.

"Jac is amazing with me, she acts like I'm her real daughter. I really enjoy spending time with her, she has a way of making me feel special and like I matter. I would quite like her to be my step-mum, it would be cool, but I know it would really upset Zosia & her closest friends Arthur & Dom, but please don't tell anyone I said that. I don't want daddy to know I like her. You would then be Auntie Jazzy, no matter what happens between you and Jac. You're still her sister." I smiled at Jaz.

"If I'd had the half the opportunity you've got, I don't know what I'd have done. Zosia had a privileged upbringing, but you have had an even more privileged one. Your father is one of the most successful neuro-surgeons in the world." Jaz told me. I already knew this fact.

"You worked for this, you deserve this job & life. I have had everything handed to me on a plate and I hate it, I have never had to work for anything. I'm lucky and I know I'm lucky but I just want to feel normal, like a normal teenager. I don't have a mum to fall out with and I don't see my dad enough to argue with him. I wish I could be normal!

Money doesn't make people happy, I can testify to that.

When I get discharged, he will send me straight back to that horrible boarding school, I don't fit in there. It's a girls only school and sometimes the girls can be so cruel. I wish I didn't have to go back there." I sighed.

"On a serious note, it is time to start thinking about getting you back to school. Please start thinking about it? I am sure if you present a reasonable case to your father he will listen." Jazz said, trying to be the responsible adult in the situation.

I laughed mockingly.

"Okay, he may. Probably won't but might! In the morning do some research on your computer and send me what you find and I'll take a look over it." Jazz offered.

"Alright!" I sighed, followed by a yawn.

"Come on then little lady, it's time to get you back up to Darwin and see if you can get some sleep, you're still recovering." Jazz said.

Reluctantly I agreed and walked with her up to Darwin. She left me at the lift entrance to walk on my own. Instead of going straight to bed I thought I would see if Jac was around.

I walked up to her office and gently opened the door. She was sat working at her computer. I could just make out the outline of her face in the glow from her screen. She looked up at me and smiled but raised her eyebrows and put on her stern face.

"You should be in bed!" She said to me.

"I know..." I trailed off.

"Will you come and sit with me?" I asked. I didn't want to go to sleep by myself.

"Yes I will, if that's what you would like." Jac said, closing down her laptop.

"Thank you." I smiled at her.

As Jac walked up to me I slipped my hand into hers and allowed her to walk me to my bed and tuck me in. She lay down next to me and put her arm across my pillow so I could lean on it. We talked until I eventually began to feel my eyelids become heavy, so I pulled my blanket up to my chin and snuggled into Jac, she made me feel safe.