One night

Goodbye

2 weeks later

It's been 2 weeks and so much has changed. Trish is gone. She past away and now I'm stood in a black dress, trying to figure out how on earth I'm going to say goodbye to her. We had a long talk the night before she died about chris and the baby and she made me see that this baby was supposed to happen. That this baby was going to be a blessing and that she had all the faith in me that I was going to be a great mother. So I decided that night I was going to keep the baby. I haven't spoken to chris but I know he went home because scott text me to ask me if I was ok. He didn't mention the pregnancy so I don't know if chris told him or not.
Right now my drama was nothing compared to the heartache April was feeling.
We made our way to the church and sat down in the chairs. The ceremony was sweet and special. Everything Trish was.
We were stood by her grave side. Lowering her into the ground when I felt someone take my hand. I looked up and saw chris stood next to me, he gripped my hand and looked forward. I held onto him tightly. Once we said our goodbyes, I talked to April and she told me she had Called chris because she knew how much I would need him today. She walked over to the car and chris and I just stood in silence for a while until I spoke "thank you for coming"
"Of course. I'm here for you"
"I know. Do you want to come back to the house? April is going to the wake"
"Yeah okay"
We drove back to aprils house and we made our way to the kitchen, I made us a drink and then we sat down in the living room again not speaking.
"How have you been?"
"Drained. I'm always so tired"
"I can only imagine. Have you made a decision? About the baby?"
"Yeah I have. I'm going to keep it."
"You are?" I couldn't read his emotions on his face. I didn't know if he was happy or upset by that.
"Yeah. I can do this. I can be a single mum and raise this baby"
"Single mum?"
"Yeah. You don't want this chris you made it clear and it's okay. I don't expect anything from you. If you want to be part of there lives it would be great but if not then I get it. Your career is so important right now and I don't want to take that away from you"
"Chloe!"
"What? I'm giving you an out here chris"
"What if I don't want an out? What if I love you and I want to do this?"
"Chris! Right now I don't think you know what you want"
"That's not true. I want you"
"Chris I love you but I'm not going to get 6/7 months down the line with you and have you change your mind"
"That won't happen"
"You cant promise me that"
"I can"
"Look chris, a baby is a big deal okay and I can't be worried about you and your feelings when I'm trying to take care of him or her"
"Please Chloe, let me prove it to you" he knelt down in front of me and put his hand on my small bump. "Please"
"Okay, how about when I get home, we will see how things go, come to my appointments and then you can see how you feel. But chris me and you, I can't do that right now okay"
"Okay. When do you fly home?"
"Saturday"
"Okay, do you want me to pick you up?"
"No it's okay. I'll get a friend to pick me up and I'm going to stay in hotel"
"No your not. Chloe, you can sleep in the spare room okay. Please"
"Okay"
We talked a little more about appointments and things we were going to need and then he hugged me goodbye and left.
I was going to be helping april box up Trishs things and get the house sorted and then I would be heading home.
I didn't know what was going to happen with me and chris but if he wants to be a father to this child then I won't stop him.