Anidita: Falling Apart

Mark your Divorce, Young Sir

Deny it to a king? Then happy low, lie down
Uneasy lies in the head that wears the crown.

Bondita's POV

Anirudh (astonished) - Analyzing the half-truth and lies you concluded so. Your lips uttered it because it was your heart's desire, perhaps the universe has conspired in my
favour, so does your emotions. How could you unsee the emptiness in my eyes? How could you let me lose when my victory was at your discretion? You were the only one who could defeat me, in fact you wanted to defeat me and yet it was not in your ability to see me defeated. What a factory of confusion you are Bondita! However, I receive my time to imbibe the joy of having you with me for now at least.
I couldn't compel you to return as you went completely formal with me. What could have I said that was a masterstroke? I was blocked from both ways. If you had to leave finally, why gift you with new wounds? I had no regrets that I tried when there was no scope, no regrets to have forgotten for a while that I never wanted to bind you and no regrets to possessively behave later.
You are my only wife and at times I did wished to behave like any other normal husband would, if that made you look at me low, I was sure you would not, why else your hands would have remained embracing me so comfortably in your puberty? You were my sky, my rainbow, my sunshine, no matter what the fate of our relationship was, I would keep what we had safe, I won't tarnish that for what you didn't want so "You win Bondita. Go live your life, your way."

"Impeccable Barrister babu" I frowned astonished "Such skillful opportunistic tackling of the situation! Dugga ma has indeed bestowed you with an enormous sacrificing heart! I embraced you like my universe when you resolved my superstitious fear with menstruation. The decision to treat me as sky or a doormat, rainbow or a stone, sunshine or darkness, either naming to ensure the safety of our relationship or tarnishing it officially and unofficially, it was you who wanted and decided the fate of it.

Letting me live at a place where I preferred to go when I did not wish to live with you, was also decided by you. Although, it didn't turn the way you expected it to but, how does the point of my victory to live my life my way arise, when you and your wife tried day and night to ensure I go to hostel when you wanted me to? The victory is primarily yours Barrister babu, I am happy as the runner up, fortunate to accomplish our mutual law-centric dream and initiate a new change for others to follow.

"Toxic people and their imparting of regular practical lessons can prevent every heart from rejoicing and weaving hopes inducing an overnight change of maturity on cognitive aspect. I got habituated to live with a long created vaccum and void despite having totality around me. Barrister babu, intense conversations go toxic only when traditional listeners stop accepting the perception of their sender and I have been bitten by snakes a lot since ages, therefore I don't mind being toxic anymore.

I believe we become what we believe in and I never let their perceptions of my submissive aspect overpower my core nature, specially because had I been weak I would have committed suicide long ago, the moment when I became your subject of ridicule since our anniversary till my departure day.
I realized not all battles are worth fighting or needs to be fought immediately, but to preserve some for later. I was tired fighting a lost war for my illusionary pride and people who felt vulnerable and lost interest in fighting their war when real enemies approached; apparently deserting me into thin air as if they never existed. Thus, I thought it's high time to analyze the reason why I remained so unaffected by outsiders labelling me 'weak'. I crossed my masochist state of mind, realizing our redefined bond do not need the sharing of little things again.
why to fight a battle whose victory brings greater loss than the defeat itself!