Anidita: Falling Apart

To Be or Not to Be, That Is the Question?

At Das Bari, Krishnanagar.......

Author's POV

"So now.....my weight has gone heavy for you also to bear Thakuma!!" Bondita said raising up her itching eyes swallowing the confined air down in her lungs.

Thakuma (shocked with widened eyes)- No my child....you are assuming it otherwise....how can you compare me with your susceptible insensitive mother?

"Why cant I?" Bondita yelled jumping up from her seat, infuriated "When my 12yr old self's weight gets heavier to bear for my own mother then why is it not possible in your context? and Me and Abhas!!!" You have completely lost it Thakuma!! I feel its better for me to leave your house immediately instead of next month...

Thakuma clutched her wrist as her hardened grip left a mark and Bondita turned around glaring at her.

Thakuma (dominating yet caring tone)- I knew the first thing you would say is to leave this house. But is this not your home? Answer me.....Am I, Tapur and Tupur, your kaaka and kaaki no one to you? Don't we mean anything to you? I haven't lost anything Bondita, but you are definitely not in your senses so you are simply assuming my concern for you as a response to dismiss you. I just want you to regain the support you lost long ago and I feel Abhas can provide you that....

Bondita- Just because my marriage with Barrister Babu is legally dissolved doesn't mean I will need any other man's support", I am sufficient enough to survive alone....And Abhas? I never had any feelings for him even in my dreams!! Forgive me Thakuma, Abhas is the only remaining friend after my sisters. Please do not spoil my cherished friendship with him by putting forth  enwrapped proposals with your self-assumed fantasy tales. I don't accept it.

Thakuma (offering a glass) :- I know you never saw Abhas in that light and.........alright fine....we shall talk about it later.
It's amavasya today, you and Tupur have to attend kali puja at Manimala's home this evening. She invited you both, remember? I simply came to remind you of your fasting. But, indulged in this untimed conversation. You cannot have anything till next morning. I brought this lemonade for now, drink it. This will rejuvenate you.

Flashback:

Bondita (recalls): (chali jao apni ma k paas Bondita dobara kabhi apni shakal mat dikhana. Tumhare aur mere beech koi rishta nehi Bondita)
Yaha koi nehi sunna chahta mere man ki baat. Koi nehi Uttar deta mere prashno ka. Par tune toh suna na kuch galat pucha Kya Maine?

Maami - didi sambhaliye apni beti ko pagal ho gayi hai ye. Arey nimbu se bhi koi baat karta hai bhala?

Bondita - ha baat kar sakte hai nimbu se. Kaha tha mere Pati Babu ne. Suna aapne kaha tha.

Flashback ends.....

"Bondita....Bondita!! Where are you lost?" Thakuma jerked Bondita's shoulder blade, pulling her out off a reverie from her days as an abandoned woman at Devipur, reminding her of a sweet and sour lemon motivation moment with Anirudh, that had filled her hopeless life with hope then.....few months before her life upturned.

"Nothing...nothing Thakuma" Bondita replied shaking her head slowly recollecting herself, taking the lemonade glass from her and after a brief pause, she spoke again "Thakuma, if you know I don't see Abhas in such light then, why did you say you wish to see me and Abhas holding each other's hands in the pious matrimonial bond?"

No answer....

(Pause) Thakuma...I understand Abhas and myself have been all weather friends since our school years and I owe to Dugga ma for blessing me with his priceless affectionate friendship. But, it's not necessary that long term friendship between a male and a female has to end up in marriage. It's a serious commitment, not a game, Thakuma. Atleast, I never expected you to speak like those mainstream people out there, who love jibing at our friendship as something more; despite knowing it's just mutual respect and helping each other at withered times like best friends do.