Anidita: Falling Apart

Prologue

Dedicated to shagunxanokhi

Flashback

Anirudh's introspection

Bondita (weeping) - 1 baat batayiye Pati Babu Pati ki har galti ko maaf karna Patni ka farz kehlata hai.
Toh Patni ki 1 galti par usey ghar se nikal dena Pati ka adhikar Kaise ban jata hai?

Present

My accomplished counterpart....you did not forgive her on her first mistake and punished her: although you were too not at fault completely but misled then, rectifying it later; but you did punish her for breaching your faith isn't it?

And, you punished her for her second mistake too......a punishment that could possibly drive her to death.

I fell on the ground hitting my knee cups...

*******
It is said that Higher Goals demand Higher Sacrifices. Barrister Anirudh Roy Chaudhary, a 22 yr old young man, a rebel and an epitome of resolute self restraint, committed to bring a revolutionary transformation in the dominating patriarchal system of indian society where men hold comprehensive political, moral, economic and social authority over women. The one to play multiple roles in my 12yr old self's life - of my mentor, a second mother, my protector, a guide and my confidante....but unfortunately tied into a marriage that he never recognised on justified moral grounds. Yet, he stands as a role model of how an ideal husband should be.

He is a faithful follower of Shri Mahatma Gandhi, the beloved Father of our Nation- The iconic social reformist and leader of non-violence, who motivated me to seek my Right to Education infront of him. From the very first day I questioned the hypocrisy of this society's behaviour, he was deeply impressed. It was our fight and we both struggled relentlessly to come out victorious against rigid orthodox challenges.

I was too young to understand the level of sacrifices he made just for my sake and neither did he ever reveal it to me, but off late I did begin analyzing some situations slowly as the time passed by.
Since the time I entered his life, I had unknowingly pledged to decide every journey with him. My attempts to hold on to him took a severe shape of a triggered obsession later, as I resisted to my denial mode from facing the truth.

Uncovering the final layers of his truth, I came out. Not because I felt guilty or had a heartbreak or intended to return him his lost love; but because the incident compelled me to question my conscience as to what level of sacrifice does it take for a girl in our society to focus on education or become independent? Should every woman prepare herself to negotiate with "Selfless Intentions" behind "Infidelity" and share her husband with a sister like co-wife to avoid fallout of her own Early Consummation? What is worthy to be accepted - A love that is rightfully hers or a love that is donated to her?

We regarded each other as soulmates. But how far can it be justified to burn the soul of your mate with whom you share an exemplary 'Relation of mind' (मन का रिश्ता) and to what extent the broken thread of faith be serviced back to work better like the past 'Wireless connection of hearts' (बिना तार वाला जुड़ाव)? How far can this mistake of ruining the dignity of his 'Reason to live' (जीने की वजह) be justified enough, that the universal bar of forgiveness and humanity itself turns into a dwarf infront of his most human dream husband figure?

Now he says "The weak can never forgive, Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong", that he has done his share of penance. Besides, he was also a young flawed victim of child marriage. So I should understand his constraints and accept him back for he has realized and repented over his "just one crime". But, does Forgiveness and Repentance always correspond to "Acceptance" & "Reconciliation"? Should compromise with betrayals, reuniting into a failed marriage on a good note always correspond to the definition of "A compassionate and devout woman in an unbiased society"?
Will the society that advises me to forgive him for only 1 human error as he repented over it; Could they actually forgive and come out stronger than before with their spouses if their faith and dignity had been mocked by their better halves repeatedly?

Perhaps they would...as they blindly prioritize their assumptions over their honour and faith. But then..

Faith must be enforced for a reason, when faith becomes blind it dies.
                                 - Mahatma Gandhi

The society now advises me to stop vilifying his simple, impulsive action and "attraction" as a heinous crime for he being a man can't cry out in open and has been under deep scrutiny over anything and everything since he married Manorama, but they don't mind it they say. Yet, if one rational flaw pointed out, they immediately shoot to his defence taking it a blasphemy! replaying the same old rhetoric of the "most human" victim card for him, blaming me for playing a Psuedo feminist privilege card for not understanding His Perspective.
But, then who is to decide the difference between "a simple human error and "just one crime"? the difference between "admiration for another woman" and "adultery"?
Him? This society? or myself who faced the consequences of his simple human errors?

No real change in history has ever been achieved by discussions only.
Forget not that the grossest crime is to compromise with injustice and wrong.

                           -Subhash Chandra Bose