Deep into Despair | xBayani

Chapter Twenty-Six

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Jordan's POV

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I couldn't control my body, somehow I couldn't control myself, and it wasn't me. I mean I can see and I know what's happening, but I'm physically not able to control what I do. So I kissed Naria, and I didn't do it, the other part of my mind did. I could tell she was shocked at first, but she eventually kissed back. It's a passionate kiss, I don't press down hard, but I don't stop and she doesn't either.

I hear Will and what I think is Ace in the background, "Awww"ing.

My hand covers the key on her neck, and it's cooled down so I don't know why I'm covering it. I eventually let go of Naria, but she just stares at me, expressionless.

"I-I didn't mean to," I stutter.

She sighs heavily. "I'm sorry, Jordan."

"Don't apologize, I was never hurt when I was with you. You are my light. You are my world. You are my stars. You are my universe. You are my smiles. You are my laughter. You are my happiness. You are my love. You are my heart. You are my soul. You are my girlfriend. You are one of my best friends. And most of all, you are were mine but I hope it could be the same,"

Naria looks away, but smiles sadly. "Thank you," she whispers. "I just, I'm doubting myself, Jordan. I don't get why you love me, that's all. I'm deep into despair, and not even you can save me from it."

"But my love, happiness comes with darkness as it's price. We have opposites so that we would know what the other means. So light will come soon, I promise,"

"You promise?"

"Promise," I took her hand and squeeze it.

"Then I promise too, I will never ever leave you again," And at that moment she smiled, truly smiled. The glimmer in her eyes, and her soft lips show real happiness. I return the favor and smile back.

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Naria's POV

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I promise that I would never leave him, and that's a promise I want to keep, but I just didn't want to admit that I'm maybe, possibly doubting my love for him, not his love for me. I just don't know anymore, I want to love him like a boyfriend. I want to feel that spark like I did before, and I want that passion that I had for him. But things change and I don't know if I can get that back. I smile sincerely because I know I'm going to keep my promise, but that's the only thing I'm really happy about because I'm not happy at all. I just need to keep my head up.

"So...." Ace says awkwardly. "What're going to do now?"

"Well Jordan and I still need to unpack some stuff, and maybe we'll meet up later?" Will suggests.

"Yeah, sure," I reply, and lead them out the door.

Right before Will leaves, I take his hand, barely grasping it and smile. He smiles back and turns around to leave.

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"What do you want to do?" Ace asks me.

"I don't know," I say lazily, stretching on the couch.

He chuckles. "Want to go to lunch while we wait for them?"

"Sure, let me get ready first,"

He nods his head, as he reaches over to turn on the TV. I exit the room and walk into the bathroom. I close the door behind me and lock it. I quickly change into skinny jeans and a black tank top with a purple flannel over it. I pull up my sleeves and suddenly get mesmerized. I stare at my clean wrist, been clean for months now, with the help of Jordan. I get dazed quickly. No, no I shouldn't, neither Jordan or Ace would want me to. But then I remember all the things that's been happening. The stress wells up in my mind and a headache begins to pound in my head. I get down on my knees for the strength in my legs weakens. I cover my forehead and some black spots cover up my vision. This is not normal, I think. I shakily open the drawer below the sink and slowly pull out the blade.