Deep into Despair | xBayani

Chapter One

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Naria's POV

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I back away into the corner and start to wince. "Are you okay?" The man questions.

But I just cover my face with my hands and start to cry. "Stop...," I whisper, "please stop."

The pain is coming back, the people, they need to get away from me. Their pain shouldn't be mine, they weren't mine to begin with...

"Please let me help you."

"Stay away from me."

"GET AWAY FROM ME!" I yell as the sorrow drowns me. The pain rises as the man comes closer.

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But that was years ago. The giving of the suffering started just when my parents died in a car accident. I was only 13 years old but I managed on my own because no one would know what was wrong with me. The doctors, even, would hurt me the same as they would try to come closer. But all they do is spread the pain that they had once before, onto me. I would feel their pain both physically and mentally and no one could help me. So I stay home all day and limit myself at least 10 feet away from any other human. I have neighbors but they probably don't know I exist because I barely ever come out of the house. I manage to get food often, but I have getting thinner lately. Now I'm 18, still surprised I'm alive.

I sit in the corner of my plain, boring room and start to read for around an hour. I pick out different books because I have a shelf against the wall full of books of different kinds, from fantasy to biographies. Reading just takes away the worries, takes me away from constantly thinking. It just keeps me occupied and helps me run from reality for a little bit.

My room is so plain and boring, even cracks amongst the walls have started to form. I haven't been taking care of the house well, let alone myself. I just have the typical bedroom, but just more barren. One step into my room, and positive moods will get sucked out completely. Almost everything's grey, black, or white. I wasn't much of a bright person. The only thing bright in my room is the window, one of the little things that takes me into my own dreams. Every morning I would look through the window. Of course I see the same thing everyday, and think the same thing everyday, but it's just something I do. I always see my neighbor's house, and he has a window facing directly across from mine. I can see him. The person I can see every time, the person that reminds me that life is a reality, that everything is still real. He's always talking to someone, laughing about something. It makes me envy normal people. I wish I am able to interact with people and talk, laugh, and smile. But it's just something I am not capable of, like I am just not meant to feel the way they feel. I'm not perfect, and when people say "nobody's perfect", I'm pretty sure they're just talking about me.

I try to focus on my book again. I keep getting lost in tangents. But I suddenly stop and wince like the old times.

"What's happening?", I think. "No not again, I'm not even close to anyone,"

That same feeling drags me along, playing with me, hurting me. I hear talking, very loud from my neighbor's house. This is just a routine, my neighbor's always loud, but I never thought the houses were this close! I start to scream again. It's taking over.

"Stop!" I yell, loud enough for the neighbors to hear, but I can't help myself.

I start to hear shifting. "Are you okay?!" I am guessing who was my neighbor yelling back.

I can't control myself. I place my hands against the wall, tensing up when suddenly, I hear the door into my bedroom creak open.

A guy opens the door and the pain grows on me. Why is it so bad this time? My hands grow tense and I fall onto my knees. I cry and scream both at once. The boy came closer making it worse.

He has dark, green emerald eyes that shines in the little amounts of light that is in the room. For one moment, everything stops; I forget the pain. But then it comes back again. He tries to help me to my feet but I push him away and try to get as far away from him as possible.

"I'm trying to help," he says gently, like he's trying to pick out the right words to calm me.

I run away, out the door of my bedroom, out the door of the house, into my backyard, into the woods. This is the only place I can come to, to actually be me without having people interfear. Maybe I am alone but not here, I have the animals and plants to accompany me. But you're probably thinking I'm crazy right now since I've all this time alone but trust me, I know what's best for me.

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Jordan's POV

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I run after her. I don't know what's wrong but she was shouting from the other house and it seemed like she needed help or something. I never knew a girl lived there, I never knew anyone lived there after the accident. She was crying too, like she was in pain or something, covering her ears like she was hearing things.

I just ran, and I saw her go into the forest. Why would she go in there? Why is she running away? I hope I didn't scare her off, I was only trying to help. But she seems beautiful despite her crying. Her deep, brown eyes, and her black, silky hair. I wonder why she's like this.

I reach the center of the forest and see her sitting on a stump. She's shaking but seems okay now. I slowly walk towards her and she starts screaming again. I back away and she stops but is breathing heavily. "What?" I think. "Am I the one hurting her?"