I've always been scared of love but with her it's different, it feels like I have known her my whole life. The one year I got to spend with her felt like a life time. We've only been dating for four months but we all know we've always been more than friends. Every time I see her my heart starts racing, every time she touches me my breathe hitches, every time we kiss my heart feels like it might explode. I'll love her until the day I'll take my last breath, until I leave this world and even then, I'll still keep on loving her.
-
"Yeah, I'll tell you later on." I hear Billie say, normally I don't like over dropping her private conversations but I can't get myself to walk away. "Yeah I'll be careful." She says, what? I enter the room and she looks at me, "Okay, I've gotta go now, talk to you later." She says into the phone and hangs up, hmh weird normally she doesn't care if I walk in, she would continue her call. "Who was that?" I ask sitting next to her, "no one baby." She says and quickly kisses my cheek before standing up. Why is she acting so weird, these past 3 moths were going pretty well.
What happened? She walks out of the room, leaving me alone in the living room. I sigh while taking my phone to call Lis, "What's up babes?" She asks through the phone, god I love my sister. "nothing just wanted to know what you're doing, I'm so bored." I say while standing up and walking into my bedroom to find Billie on the bed tapping on her phone. I walk into the closet and change while I can feel Billie's stares burning into my skin but I completely ignore it and continue talking to Lis. "Come over to mine." She says and i let a quite laugh out, "I was planing on doing that anyways." I say and even tho I can't see her, I'm sure she just rolled her eyes at me.
"I'll let you get ready." She says and I agree, we say our goodbyes before hanging up. I look myself in the mirror and I can see Billie staring at me through the reflection. She's acting weird, super weird, normally she would comment something or at least ask where I'm heading to but nothing, suspicious.
-
"She didn't even ask where I'm heading to." I complain while looking at my sister. "You're overthinking." She says and i sigh, maybe she's right but what if the feeling in my guts is right, what if she's hiding something, what if- "Stop" my sister whispers pulling me out of my thoughts, "Come here." She says while holding her arms out and I gladly fall into her arms, god I love my sister. She always knows how to comfort me, she's always been here for me when I needed her. She's the sweetest person I know, god if someone breaks her heart I'll kill him but no one gets a chance to anyways because my sister is a little whore, don't get me wrong I love her but she changes guys like underwear.
"I'm sure she's just stressing about work." My sister says while pulling me out of my thoughts, I hope she's right. I nod and we talk for a little bit, "Wanna go treat ourselves?" She asks and i nod while smiling, a shopping tour, yeah that's what I need right now.
-
"I'm kinda thirsty." I say while tightening my grip on the bags in both my hands. "Yeah same." She replies, "let's bring these into my car." I say while holding up the bags. "I know a nice place we can go to." I continue and she nods.
-
"What do you want?" I ask but she doesn't answer, instead she stares into the corner of the small coffee shop. I follow her eyes to see Billie leaning her head against some musty looking guy's shoulder, their hands interlocked. I clench my jaw, anger and sadness flashing through my body, she's cheating on me. Billie laughs at something he says and he leans in connecting their lips. "Y/n-" my sister says but before she gets any chance to say something, I walk out, her voice fading in the distance behind me.
"Was that Y/n?" Someone shouts, I could recognize that voice everywhere, Billie. I start walking faster by now tears running down my face, come on keep it together, my arms start trembling and my heart aches. The picture of Billie with that guy replaying in my head over and over again, I feel a hand on my wrist, making me stop.
I turn around to Billie, "DO NOT TOUCH ME!" I shout, "Listen- FUCK LISTEN TO ME!" She shouts her head ticking to the side. "NOTHING HAPPENED!" She continues and I let a laugh out, you know they fucked up when someone laughs at their words. "NOTHING HAPPENED HUH!" I shout back at her, "YOU REALLY THINK I'M THAT DUMB?!" I continue, "I LITERALLY SAW EVERYTHING!" I shout and she looks down, tears streaming down her pretty face.
"I-I- fuck, I'm so sorry." She says looking down, tears filling her eyes, I would love to look at those eyes the way I used to but when I look at her I see nothing else but lies. I don't speak up to caught up with my mind, that's racing around the thought of Billie with that guy while we're dating or should I better say were dating.
"Why?" I say but it only comes out as a quite whisper and she looks down. Her tics staring to act up again. I would love to go up and comfort her but I can't, she doesn't deserve my forgiveness. I try holding back the pain of my broken heart, no my shattered heart, the pain in my chest growing worse. "I don't know." She mumbles, "You don't know?" I shout at her, she doesn't fucking know? You gotta be kidding me.
"How many times" I ask angrily, no answer. "This was the only-" she starts but I cut her off by yelling "AND DON'T YOU DARE LIE TO ME!" I shout at her. Wow, I can't believe her, "Several times." She mumbles looking down... I can't fucking believe her. "OH MY GOD I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU." I yell at her as my heart starts racing.
"But baby it didn't mean anything!" She says while tears stream down her face. "DO NOT BABY ME!" I shout, the pain in my chest growing every second. "It didn't mean anything." She repeats while trying to come closer to me, but with every step closer, I take one backwards, keeping distance between the two of us. "How can I trust anything you say ever again?" I ask curiously, "Y/n." She says looking up at me, "Fuck you Billie." I say while looking her straight into her eyes, those ocean blue eyes...
"You are fucking dead to me." I say while looking her dead in the eyes, her head snaps up and she shakes her head no. "You don't mean that-" she starts but I cut her off, "I fucking mean every fucking word!" I say while walking closer to her, "You're dead to me Billie." I whisper while pointing my finger at her, "I don't believe you." She whispers, tears still streaming down her face. "You and me, we're fucking done." I say while gesturing between me and her. Billie's cries are getting louder and more tears start running down her pretty face.
"There's nothing fucking there anymore." I say without showing any emotions, good I really am an amazing actress. "Nothing fucking there!" I repeat and my heart aches as these words leave my lips moments ago but I take a deep shaky breath in, trying to hold back tears. Her head keeps ticking to the side but I couldn't care less right now, I turn around and walk off without looking back.
YOU ARE READING
only you-Billie Eilish
Fanfiction"What do you think of Billie Eilish?" Someone asks and usually, I wouldn't answer but I can't just not answer this one. "She's an icon, duh." I say while looking straight into the camera.
