Take My Hand

7. Trusfrated

We arrive in Osaka Friday morning after a short flight and get checked in to our rooms. Tokyo was busy for the guys, but Osaka is brutal. They get about half an hour after arriving at the hotel before they're taken off to do nonstop interviews, performance recordings, and various other appearances.

Although their schedule is packed, mine is completely free and I can't wait to go exploring Osaka. At this point my leg is much better thanks to the never ending assistance from Hosu who was instructed to look after me closely by Jungkook, as well as Jin and Tae who are the sweetest secret keepers I could ask for.

I'm somewhere between spending the day shopping and spending the day at Universal Studios Japan. I've been to the one in California and it would be awesome to see the one here as well. Jae and I meet up and we decide on shopping over Universal. Maybe I can go with some of the guys tomorrow. That will be their only free day and Jin seemed excited about it as we were discussing it on the plane. I can at least go with him.

Despite what Jungkook feels, I'm very glad to have Jae as a friend I can go out with. Exploring the city alone just doesn't seem as fun. I would give anything to do that with Jungkook but I know we can't, so I'm glad to have someone I can do these things with. I'm also glad that Jae knows basic Japanese to translate everything as we're going from shop to shop.

We try different foods and I spend way too much money on every cute thing I can get my hands on. Which turns out to be a lot. We stay out all day and get back to the hotel in time for dinner. We choose to eat at the restaurant in the hotel tonight.

I know how it looks. I spend all day shopping with Jae and end the night having dinner with him. It's not lost on me that people could get the wrong idea. The constant issue I face is whether I let people think whatever and continue hanging out with my only non idol friend at this company, which makes the person I deeply care for upset. Or I cut myself off completely and become a hermit, robbing myself of a social life and great experiences.

Kookie and I have talked about this. After Jin and Tae got on to him I had to make sure we were on the same page in terms of making sure people don't find out, and my relationship with Jae. I had to make sure he trusts me, trusts that I have no desire to be more than friends with Jae. I had to make sure he understands that no matter how much he hates it, he can't change that there are a lot of things that we won't be able to do together. There are few things we can do without the risk of other people finding out, and that means I'll have to do these things either alone or with someone else or not at all, which I was not about to consider. Jae just happens to be the one that I'm comfortable enough with to do these things. I don't want to fuck him, I just want to hangout with my friend and enjoy these places I may never have gotten to see before. Kookie agreed to do better. He agreed to trust me and to stop being careless. I guess spending the day with Jae is about to be a test of that.

I get back to my room finally able to rest after a day full of shopping and eating. Once again I find myself scared half to death when I see Kookie sitting on the bed in my room. Once again he got his hands on the spare key to my room. Usually the managers have the spare keys to all of the rooms, but somehow Jin got them to give him the key to my room so he could give it to Jungkook, with my permission of course. I don't know how he does it, but Jin somehow runs this company I swear.

"When did you guys get back?" I ask walking towards him.

"About 45 minutes ago," he says with a world of fatigue in his voice.

"Get some sleep, babe. You seem exhausted." I stand in front of him and run my fingers through his hair.

"What did you do today?" He asks fighting his sleep like a toddler.