(A/n: sorta trigger warning, I'll be describing a dead body briefly, idk if that's triggering I just want y'all to know) Funeral
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I've done this before. The early morning gloomy day, black dress and numb to the bone. So when I woke up, and it was foggy out, I wasn't super surprised. I sat on my bed for a while, eventually looking over to the outfit I had hanging on the closet, a black lace top and black pants. I stared at it for a while until deciding I didn't want to wear it, Chico wouldn't like it and I wanted to do what would make him happy. With what ever strengthen I had, I pulled myself off the bed and went over to the closet. I pulled out a velvet black dress that had white lace on the top and cuffs along with some platform loafers and white socks. I curled my hair then put it half up leaving the other half down and tying a white ribbon in my hair.
I sat staring at the photo of me and Chico that was in a gold frame in front of me. His voice rang through my head, every time he said he'd never leave me alone, every time he said he'd take care of me, it didn't make me sad...I was more so mad. He didn't have to go on the job, no one told him to leave alone. He knew it would be dangerous by himself, he knew if something happened I'd be alone, and he still did it. I held the frame in my hands, staring at him, his big smile, it made me more mad, only because he wouldn't smile like that anymore. I couldn't help it, I shot out of my seat and threw the frame against the wall, the glass shattered and the frame broke.
I didn't stop, I went for the next picture of him, then everything that was messily placed on my vanity was hitting the floor. Perfume bottles, cups, the flowers vase, a hand mirror, makeup, everything hit the floor and shattered sending glass everywhere. I had picked up a piece of broken glass and it sliced the palm of my hand when I threw it against the mirror. The noise made Rosa rush into my room, as she came in she stared in disbelief at the mess. She stepped on pieces of glass as she made her way over to me. I fell to the floor and cried, unable to speak a sentence.
When she saw the blood dripping down my hand she got down in front of me, holding the hand and putting pressure to stop it. "Ona-what" she reached for a close by shirt and wrapped it around my hand. She didn't say anything else, she just sat there with me, she held my hand and hugged me, slightly rocking. When she managed to calm me down, she helped me up and into the bathroom. She sat me on the toilet then went for the first aid kit. I watched blankly as she cleaned and wrapped the cut. When she finished she slowly pulled me into a hug, and I cried again "it's going to be ok..." she whispered before placing a small kiss on the top of my head.
She helped me fix the smeared mascara that was running down my face then she swept the glass and trash into a pile in the corner of my room then led me down and out to the car. I sat in the back seat, she held my hand the entire time. I watched the passing scenery, watching as the clouds began to fall back and the sun and blue sky began to shine through. We got to the funeral home, my family was all there. Like I said before, I've done this before so, I stood there, letting the aunts and uncles give me kisses and hugs of condolences. Every other aunt was wiping away a tear that was rolling down my cheek slowly, every other uncle was giving me a hug and saying how the weight of the Cartel will land on me soon.
