Cartel Princess // Marcus Arguello

Chapter 30

The Return (part two)

"How are you feeling today, Ona?" The doctor in the white trench coat asks from over the desk. His glasses black with thick frames, his obnoxious orange tie that popped on top of the white button up he had on. This was Doctor Collins, he was assigned to me when I was first admitted to sunny side. He always wore some bright colored tie or shirt, he said it was to make people feel happier( I think it just annoyed everyone) and he always asked this same question... how was I feeling today?

"Alright I guess" I said with shrug and a yawn. he wrote in his little notebook then looked up with his plastic smile "I would've thought you'd be more excited, you leave in a week!" he said cheerily. I shrugged "you've been here for... two months and two weeks and have come a long way, I have to say I'm very proud of you" he said with a smile making me shrug again "does that make you nervous to go back out?" he added, his head tilting to the left slightly and his eyebrows pointing in just a little. "I guess a little" he nodded, going back to the notebook. "Right...and why is that?"

Another shrug and sigh before I found the words "I guess...I don't think I'm ready to be back around all of...that" he scribbled in his notebook some more "but just the other day you were saying you were ready, how you had a plan?" I laughed at myself, that same plan they made me make at the last rehab center, the one I planned on using just to get out, just so they thought I was better, which I was physically better but y'know "I did but, I don't think it's going to work anymore" his head titled the other way this time "why's that?" He asked

"Because going home is...walking into everything I worked on here. Going home is being surrounded by people who hurt me and give me the drugs" he nodded, still writing in his notebook. Then there was a very long quiet pause. "Y'know he's dating her again" I said, playing with the dead skin on the side of my nail and let out a stiff laugh "you're ex?" He questioned, I nodded "and that upsets you? Because of what you think she did?" My eyes snapped up "because of what I know, she did."

He scribbled in the notebook "right...is that why you're really nervous to go back?" Yes, obviously. "No, it's the temptations, what if I get invited to a party or something" what. a. lie. He chuckled under his breath, like he knew I was spitting out lies "we've been over your steps to take. You know who to call if you feel like you have an urge to partake in those activities. And you have your substitute if you feel they are strong urges, I think you'll be just fine" I stayed silent, my leg beginning to bounce up and down as I bit a piece of the dead skin off my nails "I think, as strong of a person you are, you're scared"

I stopped biting my nails and looked up offended making him laugh and lean back in his chair "yup, I think you are now scared because you realize you'll have to go back out a face your problems" I sighed and rolled my eyes looking over to the small pile of papers he was trying to hide on a table...he was right. "Are you still planning on finishing your conversation with him?" He added before looking over the small clock on his pastie white walls, I shrugged "I don't know...seems kind of stupid now. And I mean what's the point, he's moved on and I'm working on moving on, why bring it back to the surface"

He put the notebook down finally and took his glasses off, folding his hands in front of me his two pointing fingers pointed at me "because you deserve closure" He said sternly "you deserve to know why, after everything, he did that to you" I nodded, he did the same before clapping his hands together and smiling"so you're going to finish it?" He asked again making me chuckle a little "I'll try" he nodded "well, Ona, this sadly has to be the end of our conversation. The next time I see you, I'll be sending you off-hopefully for good-respectfully." I laughed before standing up him following then leading me out the door.